OK, admittedly Morgan Ensberg only played 28 games in pinstripes, all of ‘em at the tail end of a decade long professional career best remembered for a 36 HR total in 2005. But with no disrespect intended towards Ensberg’s work between the lines, the early days of the newly launched Morgan Ensberg’s Baseball IQ reveal an unusually witty, self-deprecating voice that’s far too rare in the world of ballers-turned-bloggers. Responding to a recent claim by Bob Watson that ultra-lengthy ballgames are caused by batters and pitchers wandering around looking for “mug-time”, Ensberg writes, “Check me out! I™m batting .200! Haven™t slept in 8 years from sheer panic. Sure, John Smoltz is throwing 100 mph, but I™m not thinking of his slider or his split. I™m going to try and get a little face time.” On the subject of Alex Rodriguez’ recent run-in with the previously unheralded Dallas Braden, Ensberg offers the following insight :
Mr. Braden invoked the law of œunwritten rules. The biggest problem with this is that we literally have no book to go through on this one. In lieu of this, I will use the actions of a œreasonable person in my model.
Alex is caught in between second base and third base after Cano hits a ball foul. Using my high school geometry as the backbone of this point, I know that the quickest way from one point to another is a straight line. Rodriguez has to get back to 1st base, and the mound stands in his way. Does a reasonable person just jog over the mound?
I believe he does.
There is no unwritten rule that a player can™t jog over the mound. I know that because I am looking at the invisible unwritten rulebook. Here is a the exact quote from the book,
What? You don™t see anything? C™mon it is right below the 1st rule. Right there! You telling me you don™t see anything? Jeez¦ok¦.I™ll just translate it for you.
It basically states that a player is allowed to walk over anything that is connected to the Earth if it is located on a baseball field.