07.12.16

Minneapolis Mayor : Lynx Are A Better Draw Than Soul Asylum

Posted in Basketball, The Law at 7:25 pm by

OK, that’s not really what Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges had to say in response to Police Federation President Bob Kroll’s comments supporting off-duty police officers who refused to work security at a Minnesota Lynx WNBA contest over the weekend. Kroll, who considers shirts bearing the caption, “Change Starts With Us” some sort of implicit threat to law enforcement, has played the “false narrative” card (apparently Philando Castile is alive and well and is simply keeping a low profile in order to smear the police), but not without adding that only 4 officers were required to work the game because, “the Lynx are such a pathetic draw.”

For whatever it’s worth, Saturday’s win over the Dallas Wings had an announced attendance of more than 7,000, which is probably more people than you’d get for a Trip Shakespeare reunion or a Jesse Ventura performance of this song.

07.11.16

Miko Grimes : “The Jewish Conspiracy Is Dope”

Posted in Gridiron, Racism Corner, twitter twatter at 7:26 pm by

Miko Grimes (above, left), wife of Tampa Bay CB Brent Grimes has already established herself as a budding Twitter superstar (and by superstar, I mean someone very likely to take her account private once her rants go public). On Monday, Miko took it to an altogether different level, saying of her husband’s former paymasters, “Gotta respect (Dolphins owner Stephen) ross for keeping his jew buddies employed but did he not see how tannenbaum put the Jets in the dumpster w/that sanchez deal.”

Reached for comment by the Tampa Times’ Greg Auman, Grimes flatly denied she was trading in an ugly stereotype :

“What would I have against Jewish people?” she wrote to the Times in an exchange Monday afternoon. “Why is this the first time I’m being called anti-Semitic, as big as my mouth is, if I really have an issue with Jewish people? Is anything I said false? Do Jewish, Catholic, Christian and frat brothers, etc. hire their own people? … I was intending to offend the Dolphins, specifically Stephen Ross and Mike Tannenbaum. Anyone else that chooses to dive in front of those bullets is their own fault.”

Asked about the insinuation that someone would get a job only because of religious ties, she did not back down from her stance.

“If you are a GM in the NFL and you happen to be Jewish, nine times out of 10 you will get another job if fired because the majority of the owners are Jewish and ‘rumor has it’ Jewish people take care of their own,” she wrote. “I’m actually quite envious of them. I think its dope!”

There’s no truth to the rumor that Matt Millen was spotted this afternoon being fitted for a size XXXL yarmulke.

Quite Possibly Not A Wrestling Observer Newsletter 5 Star Match

Posted in Professional Wrestling at 6:48 pm by

Former Legion Of Doom (semi)-member Heidenreich vs. Alabama Doink (AT GOLDEN CORRAL!) link courtesy Erin Dickerhoof. On one hand, I’m disappointed neither competitor was drowned in the chocolate fountain. On the other hand, perhaps the lighting inside this Mobile, AL Golden Corral wouldn’t have done the match justice.

07.10.16

The Only Thing More Grim Than @PFTCommenter : An Actual PFT Commenter

Posted in Basketball, Racism Corner at 10:42 pm by

Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio republished Carmelo Anthony’s much circulated Instagram post from Saturday, one that invoked Malcom X, Martin Luther King, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in calling for greater activism in the wake of recent events. Here’s a couple of sample replies :

07.09.16

Ghost-Tweeter : Dykstra’s A Deadbeat

Posted in Baseball, The Law, twitter twatter at 11:32 pm by

In his new best-seller, ‘House Of Nails’, convicted felon Lenny Dykstra, in the words of the New York Times’ Richard Sandomir, “emerges a figure of enormous braggadocio who moves swiftly from roguish to Trumpian.” In the view of a recently stiffed social media guru, Nails is certainly Trumpian in another respect ; the New York Daily News’ Barbara Ross reports that Noah Scheinmann claims he was hired to ghostwrite Dykstra’s tweets and has yet to be paid.


Scheinmann worked 18 hour days from May 10 to June 4, writing Twitter feeds that attracted national media attention and got the steroided slugger several talk show gigs and an appearance at Live Nation, according to court papers.

The papers say Dykstra heaped praise on Scheinmann’s work, telling someone in an email that his friend of 10 years “has been the driving force behind building my brand and promoting the book via Twitter.”

Scheinmann says he is owed $15,000 for the Twitter and social work plus more than $76,000 for his share of other earnings Dykstra scored as a result of the media attention.

07.08.16

Enes Kanter : Turkey’s #1 Proponent Of Responsible Recycling

Posted in Basketball, twitter twatter at 3:17 pm by

Just once I wanna see footage of someone burning an Andrew Bogut jersey. Not because they’re upset he’s changed teams, but because they’re trying to stay warm and the heat’s been turned off.

07.07.16

Heat Fans React In Time-Honored Fashion To Wade’s Departure

Posted in Basketball at 9:26 pm by

Fun fact : the company that manufactures the ridiculous, life-sized vinyl sticker of D-Wade being torn to shreds is owned by none other than Dan Gilbert.

07.06.16

The Second Of Today’s Important Announcements From The Entertainment Arm Of Cumbucket Media : Coming August 19 : Musk – Musk 2 : The Second Skumming (12XU 096-1)

Posted in 12XU, Internal Affairs, Religion, Rock Und Roll at 3:33 pm by

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MUSK was an idea long before it was a real band. Ringleader Chris Owen and punker scribe Mitch Cardwell had the notion of starting an Aberrant records-style band – hairy knuckled Oz punk with very few chord changes – called MUSK. They did not take, however, into consideration Mitch’s lack of musical ability (not even the good kind of lack of musical ability). A few years later in 2011, Chris ran into Rob Fletcher at the Bottom Of The Hill for feedtime’s first US show. They lamented the total lack of any malevolent garage punk in the Bay Area. Rob brought his ex-bandmate John and this guy Brendan from his Cramps cover band aboard for upcoming rehearsals. Other names considered during these early practices were Merle Dirt and well, something we’d prefer not turn up in every review of this album. Despite learning no less than four other bands were currently operating under the MUSK moniker, it was decided to use it anyways (the label head thought about doing a Google search for “Merle Dirt” but it’s a work laptop).

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(photo credit : Corey Arnold)

The Aberrant punk idea gave way to more of a Beasts Of Bourbon/Panther Burns concept after their first year or so together prior to Musk recording a widely hailed debut LP with Chris Woodhouse in two days (see below), but ’Second Skumming’ was completed in a decadent four (suck on that, Pink Floyd). You could say they’ve grown or matured, but YOU’D BE MISTAKEN. Like all great sequels (“The Godfather II”, “Bring It On : All Or Nothing”, “Eddie & The Cruisers II : Eddie Lives”) MUSK 2 amplifies and expands on themes that made ‘Musk’ a favorite amongst misanthrobes & collector skum alike (or is that an oxymoron?) and does so with laser-like focus.

Chris was asked to supply sticker copy for the record and he came up with, “we do poorly with attractive people and people who prefer early period Scientists to late period Scientists.” Sadly, we were looking for something shorter and more to the point.

Preorder here.

The First Of Today’s Important Messages From The Entertainment Arm Of Cumbucket Media : Coming August 12 : Meet Your Death – ‘Meet Your Death’

Posted in 12XU, Austin, Internal Affairs, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 3:29 pm by

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Playing genuinely evil rock n’ roll that draws equally from The Scientists and the deep roots of American blues and jazz, Meet Your Death is the antidote to feeble contemporary hot dog and burger rock and middling pseudo-psyche jams. Walter Daniels, who has played harmonica with artists as varied as the Oblivians and Eugene Chadbourne, returns to the imposing frontman role that he perfected with 90’s Austin legends Jack O’ Fire. An honest-to-god virtuoso on an instrument rarely heard in rock n’ roll and punk rock today, Daniels is the man who gets the call when somebody needs the national anthem played on a chromatic harmonica before a hockey game, or when James Williamson of the Stooges needs a feedback-squealing blues harp solo in the recording studio. Old enough to be the father of the members of most bands he shares the stage with, Daniels cuts a formidable figure, singing high-and-lonesome or growling with the Beefheartian authority that a millennial could never pull off.

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Guitarist John Schooley is a veteran of the underground rock n’ roll world, as well, having recorded for Crypt with his first band the Revelators in the 1990s. Schooley has been performing as a one man band since his first single on Goner Records came out in 1996, and continues today, his most recent LP being ‘The Man Who Rode the Mule around the World ‘on the Swiss weirdo label Voodoo Rhythm. Daniels and Schooley remain an anomaly in today’s music world with their willingness to mix blues and country roots (via harmonica and slide guitar) with punk rock. Schooley collaborated with Daniels for the 2014 acoustic album ‘Dead Mall Blues’ (12XU), but wanted a chance to showcase Daniels’ nastier side, and Meet Your Death became the first time this one man band performed in a band with other musicians in over a decade. Releasing an acoustic country blues record would usually portend a mellowing out for two long-time musicians like Schooley and Daniels, so finding them instead teaming up with a young hotshot rhythm section to release the hard rock album of the year makes the Meet Your Death album even more surprising.

Joining Daniels and Schooley are two younger musicians, half the age of their band’s lead singer, who have already made names. Matt Hammer, besides having a perfect last name for a drummer, was a founding member of the Strange Boys, and later provided the blistering backbeat for Orville Neeley’s OBN IIIs. Bassist Harpal Assi has provided low end for hardcore titans Wiccans, Bad Faith and the Daniel Fried star vehicle, Video. Meet Your Death takes Daniels’ harmonica and Schooley’s slide guitar, puts it over a punk rhythm section, and proceeds to massacre songs that most bands today wouldn’t have the guts to attempt – if they even knew enough to be familiar with them in the first place. Digging deep into unknown and under-appreciated back catalogs, jazz pianist Mose Allison and island junkanoo shaman Exuma get the Meet Your Death treatment alongside the likes of Hank Williams and the Beasts of Bourbon. This makes for a collection of songs that will surprise even the most diehard record collector, and downright astound anyone who has previously only been buying cassettes released since 2008.

The world is falling apart in the year 2016, yet contemporary rock n’ roll has become an ironic diversion. In an era in which trust-fund wankers recycle glam kitsch for empty chuckles, Meet Your Death fits into the contemporary scene like slipping Clouzot’s Wages of Fear in-between episodes of a Saved by the Bell marathon. Utterly unlike anything currently playing on a contemporary festival stage, Meet Your Death is primal rock n’ roll – anti-fashion, anti-bubblegum, anti-“psych” (what passes for it nowadays, anyway), with improvisational wildness and bad intentions.

Preorder here.

07.05.16

Franco Harris’ Defense Of A (Questionable) Legacy Is Nothing If Not Tireless

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron at 10:04 pm by

Former Penn State punter/TE Brian Masella tells Penn Live’s Greg Pickel a group of 200 Nittany Lions letterman have signed a letter directed to university president Eric Barron and the school’s board of trustees asking for the return of Joe Paterno’s statue to Beaver Stadium. The group’s timing is something less than spectacular, coming just weeks after claims that Paterno had knowledge of sexual abuse allegations against defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky as early as the mid-1970′s.

Masella told PennLive that the letter has been in the works for about a week following a recent alumni award acceptance speech by former Lion great Franco Harris, who has been criticizing the the school’s governance for some time.

Video of Harris’ speech has not been released, according to student news outlet Onward State, who did provide a transcript of the speech.

“[Franco Harris] told us, as players, as alumni, to remain fighting for the truth from the trustees because they haven’t been outwardly corporative and truthful in fighting for the football program, or its former coaches, players, etc., and the alumni in general, in this Sandusky matter; the players that signed on, none of us are guilty of any wrongdoing, and we feel like we’ve been thrown under the bus by the trustees circa the time Joe was fired,” Masella told PennLive, adding that now was a good time to release a statement because of a board of trustee meeting scheduled July 21-22.

“This is a strong reminder that we are not moving on.”