05.07.15

Hideous Musical Monstoristy For Sale

Posted in Austin, The Marketplace at 10:12 pm by

Also, I believe the monstrosity is selling the guitar shown above.

Quicken Loans Arena Presents The Lighter Side Of Domestic Abuse

Posted in "Wife Beater" Is Not A Fashion Statement, Basketball at 10:57 am by

It’s hard to figure out which is worse, the cavalier (SORRY) ‘tude towards beating up women, or the ghastly production values and garbage acting. And to think, this was PLAN B for the Cleveland marketing department.

05.06.15

Philly Columnist On Chip Kelly’s Longshot Candidacy For Grand Wizard

Posted in Gridiron, Racism Corner at 4:26 pm by

Bills RB LeSean McCoy considers the Eagles jettisoning of himself and DeSean Jackson typical of head coach Chip Kelly’s racial bias (“there’s a reason he got rid of all the black players — the good ones — like that”). Putting aside Riley Cooper’s continued employment, Philly.com’s John Smallwood finds McCoy’s remarks, “not worth commenting on” (“sometimes the stupidity of a statement speaks for itself”), though he proceeds to comment just the same :

According to McCoy, a silver-coated Confederate flag is what Kelly most seeks to showcase at the NovaCare Center.

Those with common sense already know that a coach who cannot accept black players is not going to succeed in a league in which 67.3 percent of the players are African-American.

It would be career suicide for Kelly to get rid of his good black players.

Those inclined to agree with McCoy are so entrenched in a mindset of racial bias that even the most logical argument against McCoy will not register with them.

For the record, the most prominent argument against McCoy is that Kelly has replaced the good black players he let go with . . . wait for it, wait for it, wait for it . . . other good black players.

The Uncomfortable, Inexplicable, Best Friends Forever-ship Of James Dolan & Isiah Thomas

Posted in Basketball at 3:53 pm by

On Tuesday, the WNBA’s New York Liberty announced the appointment of Isiah Thomas as their new team president. Thomas, as you probably recall, is no stranger to the MSG boardrooms via his miserable tenures as Knicks president and head coach, not to mention the thorny matter of Anucha Browne Sanders’ sexual harassment allegations.  Despite having to pay nearly $12 million to Sanders, James Dolan’s underachieving franchise issued a statement yesterday claiming the Sanders jury “acted improperly”, claiming the charges were “completely unrelated” to Thomas, which is pretty amazing revisionist history.  In the view of the Washington Post’s Adam Kilgore, Thomas’ hiring is worthy of review by the WNBA Board Of Governors (“the only explanation is that Dolan is a tone-deaf buffoon who remains hypnotized by Thomas’s greatness as a player and personal affection for him”).

Dolan’s confidence has no grounding in reality. Thomas lasted four years as an executive of the expansion Toronto Raptors. He ran the CBA into bankruptcy. He won 34 percent of his games as coach of the Knicks, left behind a rotten, bloated roster and embarrassed the franchise with the sexual harassment case. In three seasons as Florida International’s head coach, Thomas went 26-65. Based on results he produced, Thomas does not have any idea what he is doing.

“The Madison Square Garden organization announced that Isiah Thomas has been named president of the New York Liberty and that he will take an ownership interest in the team, pending WNBA approval,” WNBA President Laurel Richie said in a statement. “New owners are approved by our WNBA Board of Governors, and this process has not yet begun.”

And so the Board of Governors can still prevent Thomas from taking over. They should. Thomas’s record suggests his presence will damage the league. He should not be in charge of a professional basketball team, which is blatantly obvious to everyone but the man who hired him.

05.04.15

On The Bright Side, At Least He’s Not Baiting Hunter Pence : Cleveland’s Unstoppable Sign Guy

Posted in Basketball, Sports TV at 7:23 pm by

Earlier this year, our good friend, Death Of Samantha and Cobra Verde mastermind John Petkovic took to the pages of the Plain-Dealer to sign the praises of local sports nut Ken Ross Jr., whose “Ralphie’s Mom Hates Duck Head” sign (above)  received airtime during coverage of the Oregon vs. Ohio State national championship.  With the Cavs colliding with the Bulls in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals, Ross tells Petkovic he has a worthy follow-up in mind ;

Last week, Ross busted on to the Cleveland airwaves with a sign that popped up on Fox Sports, during the broadcast of the Cleveland Indians game.  

“THAT LADY

WHO HURT

KEVIN LOVE

IS A BAD

ROLE MODEL”

Of course, the sign refers to Kelly Olynyk, the long-haired Boston Celtic who is reviled by Cleveland fans for injuring Cavs forward Kevin Love.

He already has some ideas – timed for the Cavs-Bulls series, which starts tonight:

“CITIES THAT ARE

NAMED AFTER

ROCK BANDS

ARE LAME”

“We just got done playing Boston and now we’re playing Chicago,” says Ross. “C’mon – how lame is it to name your cities after some ’70s rock band.”

Seriously. Take that, Nazareth.

05.03.15

Pedro : Jeff Wilpon’s A Meddlesome P.O.S.

Posted in Baseball at 8:21 pm by

“A lot of people, when they saw me competing never saw the human being behind it,” Hall Of Famer Pedro Martinez tells the New York Times’ Tyler Kepner while promoting the former’s new tome, “Pedro”, hitting bookstores (or what’s left of ‘em) next week. Among the cretins who might not have fully appreciated Pedro The Human while relentlessly pushing Pedro The Workhorse was Mets C.O.O. Jeff Wilpon (above, right), whom Martinez claims forced him to take his turn in the rotation for a meaningless late September contest vs. the Marlins while injured.

Martinez writes that his toe was hurt and that Manager Willie Randolph had told him he was done for the season. But, he said, Wilpon wanted to sell tickets for a matchup against the star Marlins left-hander Dontrelle Willis. Martinez said he protested the order and offered to give back the rest of his contract.

“While I’m the boss here, you’re going to have to do what I say,” Wilpon said, according to Martinez, who gave in and pitched. He lost the game, which drew 25,093 fans, and said the injury prolonged the toe problem. Other parts of his body broke down the next season, and Martinez was inactive for the Mets’ run to Game 7 of the 2006 National League Championship Series.

“I couldn’t help but think about how when I was healthy in 2005, our team wasn’t that good,” Martinez writes. “But as my health declined, I was urged to pitch a meaningless game at the end of 2005 that wound up shortening my recovery time for 2006 and led me to a hospital where doctors performed a three-hour arthroscopic procedure to repair my shoulder.”

In a statement through a spokesman, Wilpon denied that he told Martinez to pitch hurt.

“Pedro was always a great competitor and deserving of being in the Hall of Fame,” the statement said. “This particular excerpt in the book is false as those kinds of decisions have always been put in the hands of our baseball people.”

It would be a big relief to learn that Wilpon was not in the habit of interfering with baseball matters, thus leaving Fred’s son with plenty of time to concentrate on important executive duties (like, ruining David Wright’s career with a ballpark design, or lecturing employees on what it takes to be a good parent).

05.02.15

CSTB’s Greatest (Horses)hits Pt. IV – Mr. Ed Vs. Salon

Posted in Horse Racing, Sports Journalism at 11:55 am by

From December 23, 2009 : Guest Editorial : Salon Is A Hotbed Of Anti-Equine Sentiment

(Editor’s Note : Melissa Bryan graciously forwarded a link to a Salon column by Kate Harding entitled, “Can Women Rock Sports? AP Says ‘Neigh’”. Cruelly denied equal time by Salon, occasional CSTB scribe / scourge of Leo Durocher’s existence, Mr. Ed responds -GC ).

Hey, everybody. It’s been a while since your jerkface editor — a man so disliked, even TMZ thinks he’s unfit to sift thru Tom Brady’s garbage cans — saw fit to give me access to his 3 dozen readers. And I wish he wouldn’t bother! While the rest of you losers are cyberstalking Michelle Beadle and preparing for another Christmas ALONE, I’m getting more action than Eldrick Woods (and I’m paying a lot less for the privilege).

But I digress. Salon’s Kate Harding threw a media pundit shit-fit over the AP’s 2009 Female Athlete Of The Year poll, one in which Breeders Cup winner Zenyatta finished a distant second to Serena Williams, and Belmont Stakes victor Rachel Alexandra came in 7th behind UConn hoops standout Maya Moore. And to be totally truthful, I was disappointed in the AP’s results, too. No love for soccer thug Liz Lambert? Zero recognition for South African track and field pioneer Caster Semenya? Clearly, these AP voters care even less about women’s sports than this blog’s publisher.

However, that’s not the source of Harding’s gripe. “I can’t help noticing,” she wrote “that Zenyatta and Alexandra are not human, which — call me speciesist — is something I usually expect from an ‘athletes of the year’ list. Perhaps if the AP folks had given the subject a bit more thought, they might instead have chosen to honor, say, Rosemary Homeister, who in 2009 became the second most successful female jockey of all time. Or, you know, any other two women in sports, leaving Zenyatta and Rachel to duke it out for Horse of the Year. Something more like that?”

I’m sorry, but did we learn absolutely nothing this year from “District 9″? Much the way great sportspersons/pioneers such as Semenya, Renee Richards and John Kruk have forced the world to reconsider outdated gender roles, maybe the AP ought to be applauded for looking past something as ultimately trivial in 2009 as species? Certainly Harding has a point when complaining none of the male athletes on their 2009 list had to share the top ten with horses, but that list is a farce, too! Some jumpsuit-wearing d-bag driving around in a circle is a better athlete than than this glorious competitor? I (fucking) think not.

There’s some precedent for the AP’s ranking horses alongside humans. Secretariat only finished 6th amongst male athletes in 1973, despite winning the Triple Crown. Naturally, the human-biased sports media sided with such flash in the pans as Hank Aaron, Bill Walton and some nobody named O.J. Simpson. Apathy towards female athletics is regrettable, sure. Maybe even inexcusable if you fancy yourself a halfway intelligent sports fan. But must Harding diminish the achievements of my stall sisters just to advance her own horse-hating agenda?

CSTB’s Greatest (Horses)hits Pt. III – Mr. Ed Vs. Mad Dog

Posted in Horse Racing, Sports Radio at 11:51 am by

From June 4, 2008 : Guest Editorial : Mr. Ed On Chris Russo’s Anti-Equine Bias

(your author)

Hey, Everybody! It’s been a while since your jerkface editor —- a man so disliked, this blog’s Ballhype ranking will soon be higher than Barry Zito’s jersey number —- allowed me to bring my wit and wisdom to CSTB. And I sincerely wish he wouldn’t bother! While the rest of you are watching “Around The Horn” and pondering another night ALONE, I’m producing future generations of champions. I’m like the Marv Marinovich of horses.

But I digress. I was all set to provide my Belmost Stakes predictions when someone provided me with a clip of WFAN’s Chris Russo talking trash about my boy, Big Brown. I’d like to know, where does this mental midget get off questioning the smarts of a superior athlete who’s just one race away from the Triple Crown, merely because he’s a horse?

WFAN’s website provides no information regarding Russo’s SAT or Wonderlic scores, and curiously his years at Oxford are totally ignored in his biography. But if the station employed a host that mocked Jews, Women, African-Americans, Diet Coke-addicted Fatso’s or Southside Johnny by challenging the intellectual capacities of any of the above, advertisers would be very quick to leave a sinking ship. Clearly, WFAN management has learned nothing from their previous mistakes. It’s a very short gallop from “nappy headed ho’s” to “carrot-eaters” and I’m appalled that no one else covering this nonsense —- Mushnick, Best, Raissman, I’m calling you guys out — found this worthy of critique.

CSTB’s Greatest (Horses)hits Pt. II – Mr. Ed On ESPN’s “Ruffian” Movie

Posted in Cinema, Horse Racing at 11:49 am by

From June 6, 2007, Guest Editorial : Mr. Ed On ESPN’s “Ruffian”


(your author)

Hey, everybody! It’s been a while since your jerkface editor — a man so disliked, he couldn’t even weasel his way into this tournament — allowed me to bring my wit and wisdom to CSTB. And I sincerely wish this message was coming to you under happier circumstances.

You might’ve missed it while looking for pictures of that pole vaulter, but ESPN has a dramatization about my old friend Ruffian on their schedule for this coming Saturday night right after the Belmont Stakes.

Ruffian’s old trainer Frank Whiteley Jr and jockey Jacinto Vasquez have taken legal action to prevent the broadcast, and I think they’ve got every right to complain.

ESPN’s film is apparently based in some form on the scribblings of Bill Nack, whom as you’d expect has a very different version of events than Whiteley Jr.

It seems a great shame to me that all of the parties involved cannot come together and agree on what is entirely obvious to this veteran of both the show biz and equestrian worlds ; Tom Sizemore is a terrible choice to play Ruffian, and for that reason alone, the film should be scrapped.

Anyway, I’ve taken way too much of your time. Maybe I’ll be asked back the next time someone breaks a leg in public and has to be put down? But enough about Nick Johnson!

peace,

Mr. Ed.

CSTB’s Greatest (Horses)hits, Pt. I – Mr. Ed On Barbaro

Posted in History's Not Happening, Horse Racing at 11:48 am by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : earlier today on WFAN, host/charmless school graduate Evan Roberts opined that today’s running of the 141st Kentucky Derby was little more than “animals running around in a circle”. Granted, this event features nothing close to the athletic display that is the annual NFL Draft — all that hugging! —- but as a lapsed gambling degenerate thoroughbred racing aficionado, I did take some small offense at Roberts’ comments, and I’m sure former CSTB contributor, Mr. Ed, would’ve felt the same way – GC)

From May 21, 2006 – Guest Editorial : Mr. Ed On Barbaro’s Sad Fate

(your author)

Hey, everybody! As a long time reader of CSTB, I’m honored to finally have a chance to contribue to this fine forum. I’ve been telling Wilbur for years that I deserved a blog of my own, but he keeps stealing all of my great ideas. Sad enough that he tried to pass himself off as a baseball know-it-all to my close personal pal, Leo Durocher, but now it’s Ed’s time to shine!

Anyhow, like many of you, Wilbur and I cracked open a couple of cold ones late yesterday afternoon and prepared to watch NBC’s coverage of the Preakness Stakes. Every year, Wilbur accuses me of having a crush on Bob Neumeier and frankly, that joke got old the first time. Can’t a horse admire a man’s head of hair without some jackass making all sorts of “bareback mountain” references?

But I digress. Unless you’ve been living under a rock or you edit CSTB, you’re aware that Preakness favorite / Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro suffered a terrible injury yesterday and might soon be euthanized. Or murdered, as I like to call it. Did anyone suggest having Bo Jackson put down when he no longer had anything to offer the sporting world?

I’m not gonna tell you I was a big fan of Barbaro going into this year’s Triple Crown, but like I said to Wilbur at brunch yesterday, anyone named after the former drummer for Babes In Toyland is a-ok with me.

I was trying take my mind off yesterday’s tragic events with a little light web surfing last night, and I came upon the following headline from what I’m told is supposed to be a “funny” sportsblog :

“Barbaro Cheats, Injures Leg, Will Be Served Later With Fried Rice”

I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it. I’m as open minded a horse as you’ll find, and I enjoy the odd bit of “edgy” humor down at the stable just like anyone else. For instance, that Joe Rogan guy. F-U-N-N-Y! But this sort of joke is just nonsensical. For one thing, Barbaro wasn’t cheating, he was just trying to get a little edge on the competition. Certainly no worse than Barry Bonds, who somehow managed to get a standing O from A’s fans yesterday. And the fried rice jibe is just sick. Newcomers to this great country have it tough enough as is without insensitive creeps implying their cusine is based on dubious ingredients.

I can’t for the life of me understand how anyone, let alone an award winning blogger like this Mighty MJD fella, would so relish the suffering of another living creature. He’d better hope he never crosses my path, or I’ll put a hoof up his ass.

05.01.15

From The Desk Of Randy L. : Dear Comedy Columnist , STOP BITING MY SHIT

Posted in Baseball, It's A Living at 5:43 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : From time to time, noted Bronx baseball executive Randy L. takes to the pages of CSTB to weigh in on the major sporting matters of the day. USA Today published a column from former SNY staffer Ted Berg Friday in which Berg suggested that in the event Alex Rodriguez were to hit career HR no. 660 this weekend at Fenway— tying him with Willie Mays on the All-Time list and possibly qualifying him for a $6 million marketing bonus — Red Sox fans would be well advised to loudly cheer the Player They’ve Loved To Hate. Upon reading Mr. Berg’s column, Randy asked, no, he demanded to have his say – GC)

If the Fenway faithful are smart about it — or smaht, if you will — they should give A-Rod a standing ovation so long and so rousing that it interrupts the game. Force him to come out of the dugout and give a curtain call. And the Red Sox, in turn, should put up a special message on the scoreboard congratulating him and maybe show a video montage of previous A-Rod highlights.

Seriously, Boston, listen up: If A-Rod hits his 660th home run this weekend, everything you do to celebrate it will hurt the Yankees’ chances of saving $6 million. Think about that. Spread the word. Ted Berg, USA Today, 5/1/15

So we have an actual battle for first place happening in Kenmore Square tonight, and the best an alleged professional like Ted Berg can come up with is cheap shots at the greatest sporting franchise in human history? Clearly, all those years having to ask the Wilpon family to make good on bounced paychecks have left Ted a rather snide individual, the sort better equipped for “hot takes” on Michael Kay’s radio program (not that I’ve ever tuned in — he’s still on the air, right?)

If we were nearly as hellbent on diminishing Alex Rodriguez’ historical accomplishments, why would I have campaigned so openly, so aggressively, to have him traded to our crosstown rivals for a number of players that while flavors of the month they might truly be, all represent risks to this organization’s culture and commitment to winning? In fact, given the way Jacob deGrom has looked in his last two outings, I think we’re well within our rights to ask for David Wright as a throw-in. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT DEGROM’S HORRIBLE HAIRSTYLE.

No, what’s really most disappointing about Berg’s brand of humor is the staggering unoriginality. Consider if you will, my contribution to this barely-read blog from September 16, 2013, in which I took great umbrage at the Red Sox showing Mariano Rivera’s blown saves against their fluke-tastic ballclub during ceremonies intended to honor the ever-classy Mo :

Just for the sake of argument, however, suppose for a moment I buy into the idea that a little nudge-nudge, yuck-yuck at the expense of the universally beloved Mariano Rivera on what could be his final game in that cesspool was somehow an appropriate gesture. How might the World’s Greatest Sporting Franchise return the favor? What sort of highlights could we show on the New Stadium jumbotron during Manny Ramirez’ final game…no, wait, sorry, too late for that. Maybe we can find a clip of Nomar Garciaparra glued to the bench on his own volition while Derek Jeter makes a heroic leap into the stands in time for the former’s last game at….whoops, a little late on that one, too. How about some hidden camera video of Manny Alexander giving his car keys to the batboy? Josh Beckett loading up a baseball w/ KFC grease? Oh, sorry, those guys aren’t wearing Boston uniforms…or anyone else’s for that matter.

That’s because when it comes to dominating for generations rather than an isolated, aberrational year or two, there’s only one New York Yankees and there’s only one Mariano Rivera. Our pathetic, desperate neighbors to the north know this better than anyone. If you think I’m overreacting to the least witty exhibition to come out of Boston since the last time Sully Erna opened his mouth, rest assured, I know my way around a blooper reel, too. And in the not-so-unlikely event we face these Red Sox in the 2013 postseason, I’ve already begun production on a special video montage the Fenway A/V dept. can showcase in what should could be Alex Rodriguez’ final game in Boston. Until then, I’m tempted to say of the Red Sox, “you’re better than this,” but we all know that simply isn’t true.

Yeah, I liked my version beter, too. “FTW”, my dick.

yours in excellence,
Randy L.

04.30.15

NFL To La’el Collins : Sorry, Your Draft Stock Is Doomed

Posted in Gridiron, The Law at 7:25 pm by

After it was reported last week that likely first rounder OL La’el Collins (LSU) was sought for questioning concerning the shooting death of his 29-year-old ex-girlfriend, Collins petitioned the NFL to have his name removed from draft consideration tonight in Chicago. That request has been denied, and the Baton Rogue Advocate reports Collins, “is exploring all avenues relating to his future in football.”

Collins reportedly sought permission to withdraw from the draft and enter the league through the supplemental draft once his name is cleared from a police investigation.

Collins was once expected to be selected in the first round of the draft, which begins Thursday night. Various reports suggest that Collins is viewed as untouchable by many teams until this situation is settled.

Police have said Collins, 21, is not a suspect in the killing of 29-year-old Brittney Mills, who was fatally shot Friday night at her Ship Drive home. Mills died at her apartment, but was rushed to the hospital where her unborn son was delivered. The baby is expected to survive.

04.29.15

This Afternoon’s White Sox / O’s Matinee Was Not The First Major Sporting Event Played To An Invisible Audience

Posted in Baseball, Professional Wrestling at 11:11 pm by

As you’ve undoubtedly heard elsewhere, the Orioles ended two days of cancelled engagements with the White Sox at the former’s Camden Yards with a Wednesday afternoon contest played in an empty ballpark due to safety concerns in the aftermath of Freddie Gray’s questionable death at the hands of Baltimore police. This of course, was not the first time an event of such stature took place in an otherwise vacant venue ; as recently as last Autumn, CSKA Moscow was forced to play their home Champions League fixtures to an empty Arena Khimki per order of UEFA following racist & violent behavior by their supporters.

Former CSTB contributor Ben Schwartz points out that last week marked the 34th anniversary of Terry Funk and Jerry Lawler’s 1985 clash at an empty Mid-South Coliseum :

Mavs To Rondo : Fuck Off & Die (Not Necessarily In That Order)

Posted in Basketball at 7:37 pm by

How exactly do we quantify the (allegedly injured) PG Rajon Rondo quitting on his Dallas teammates? Rondo’s failure to show up in the Mavs’ first-round loss to Houston surely hurt the ex-Celtic’s market value, much as you’d have to give Mark Cuban a failing grade for acquiring Rondo in the first place (and the week’s been bad enough for The Owner With A Boner as is — NICE WORK, CLAY TARVER). In the wake of all this, the Fort-Worth Star Telegram’s Dwain Price reports Rondo’s Mavs colleagues have noted not to split their playoff windfall, though by NBA standards, we’re talking tip money :

When it came time for the 14 players to vote on whether or not to give Rondo a share of the pool of money they earned for qualifying for the playoffs, the Mavs players voted not to give him a share, according to multiple sources.

For participating in the first round of the playoffs, the Mavs earned a total of $208,940. Shared equally among the other 14 players, that’s an estimated $14,924 per player.

Not voting a player a playoff share is not new territory for the Mavs. Back in 2012, the players on that Mavs’ squad voted not to give forward Lamar Odom a playoff share after he was waived on Apr. 8, 2012.

Odom’s end came when he and owner Mark Cuban were involved in a heated exchange in the locker room during an Apr. 7, 2012 game in Memphis. The Mavs played the final nine games of the regular season and their four postseason games without Odom, and were subsequently swept by Oklahoma City in the first round of the playoffs.

04.28.15

Scherzer : My Sophisticated Humor Is Lost On Jon Heyman

Posted in Baseball at 10:23 pm by

CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman recently quoted Nats P Max Scherzer as claiming there’s no place for the designated hitter in the National League (“if you look at it from the macro side, who would you rather see hit, Big Papi or me?”), a stance that was criticized by San Francisco’s adept-with-the-bad Madison Bumgarner (“he knew the rules. Whatever much he signed for — what did he get, again? — he didn’t have a problem signing his name”). On Tuesday, Scherzer took to Twitter to, well, pretty much blame everything on Heyman (“I was making an attempt to be funny with those comments and nothing more…this is simply a case of a reporter taking a casual comment and turning it into a story with a specific agenda”). Quotes compiled by DC Sports Bog’s Dan Steinberg :

“In a recent article written by Jon Heyman, there were comments taken out of context that I would like to clarify. First and foremost I value what my colleagues and fellow players think of me and it appears my casual and in-jest comments were not portrayed properly. I was having a casual conversation with Jon discussing Adam Wainwright’s injury and the subject of the DH and pitchers hitting came up. John [sic] asked me if the National League had the DH would it have made a difference in regards to Adam’s injury and I responded ‘no’ as I believed it to be a freak injury and had nothing to do with him actually hitting.

“John [sic] then asked me how I liked hitting in the NL since I made the switch over from the AL and I told John [sic] that I love to hit and enjoyed all of it (bunting, hitting, running the bases, etc.) to help our team any way to win a game. He asked if the NL should have the DL [sic] just like the AL and my response was simply an opinion that I thought at some point it would be good for both leagues to have the same rules.

The Halo In Halo’s Heaven Is Slightly Dented

Posted in Baseball, Blogged Down, non-sporting journalism at 10:19 am by

(“Rev. Halofan”, whatever you say, Arte)

The following post, headlined “Adios Angels! Addict Hamilton Denies Any Relapse Responsibility” and bylined Rev. Halofan, was published by SB Nation’s Halo’s Heaven yesterday at 5pm. It’s been deleted since, but it’s harder to understand what would possess someone to write such a thing, let alone publish it.

In a telling show that he is as infantile as the day he first shoved blow up his nose at the local tit bar, Josh Hamilton used the cover of an enabling Joint Drug Agreement (JDA) between MLB and the Players Union to deny any culpability in his relapse.

This coddled hillbilly had no shame in explaining that his relapse into drug and alcohol use (abuse?) was not his problem. As transcribed by Alden Gonzalez for MLB.com, Josh mocked Arte’s naiévété in believing Josh would put baseball first over booze, cocaine and the social nexus where these products are consumed away from society’s basic strictures. On Arte he said:

“He knew what the deal was when he signed me. Hands down. He knew what he was getting, he knew what the risks were, he knew all those things. Under the JDA, it is what it is.”

In other words: Arte signed an addict, that is his problem, not the addict’s problem. No accountability. No taking responsibility. No apologies. And so no accountability for his personal negligence. Just embracing the enablers, mocking the man who had faith in him.

Josh, when you finally die of a drug related matter it won’t be Arte Moreno’s fault. It won’t be the fault of the good fans in Anaheim who figured out your little game. They might have Donnie Moore’s karma on them but they won’t have yours. As much as I would like to say the blame for your future fate lies with the enabling national media and coddling players union, I think of Steve Howe’s face crushed against his truck’s windshield on a lonely interstate highway with crystal meth in his bloodstream and I know that all the blame will be on you, all of it, as it was with Howe. I can only hope that when you do yourself in, which you will, that, mercifully like Howe, you take nobody else with you.

Good bye Josh, today is the first day of the rest of your life and you used it to announce to the world that nothing will ever be your fault. Happy snorting.

04.27.15

Lennon : Mets Order Additional Bubblewrap For Harvey

Posted in Baseball at 9:47 pm by

With the recovering Matt Harvey being held to a pitch limit of 90 — and perhaps mindful that Terry Collins once allowed Johan Santana to throw something like 14,000 pitches in pursuit of the franchise’s solo no-no, Newsday’s David Lennon quotes an unnamed source as claiming the Mets will only allow The Dark Knight no more than 32 starts this season. So that means he can pitch long relief in September, right?

The next phase of the plan goes into effect this week when the Mets temporarily switch to a six-man rotation and call up Rafael Montero to start Tuesday in Miami. The Mets will go back to five again but intend to use a sixth starter periodically from that point forward to give Harvey extra rest on occasion. The Mets also could get looks at Long Islander Steven Matz and Noah Syndergaard in these spot starts, barring injuries, of course.

Harvey is 4-0 with a 3.04 ERA through his first four starts and is averaging 6 2/3 innings, a pace that would put him at 200 innings for 30 starts or 213 innings for 32 by the end of the season. That’s more than the 180 to 190 the Mets had budgeted for Harvey, so they’ll need to get creative — and why Harvey’s complete-game push in Saturday’s 8-2 rout of the Yankees won’t be happening much from now on.

Orioles Exec Takes A Pass On Demonizing Protestors

Posted in Baseball at 7:29 pm by

After a week of mostly peaceful protests over Freddie Gray’s death at the hands of the Baltimore P.D. degenerated into violence — some of it occurring close to Camden Yards — the Orioles opted to postpone tonight’s contest against the White Sox citing safety concerns.  Beforehand, however, club COO John Angelos displayed a sophisticated-by-MLB standards perspective on the unrest (“inconvenience at a ballgame (is) irrelevant in light of the needless suffering government is inflicting upon ordinary Americans”) in a series of tweets compiled by For The Win’s Ted Berg :

My greater source of personal concern, outrage and sympathy beyond this particular case is focused neither upon one night’s property damage nor upon the acts, but is focused rather upon the past four-decade period during which an American political elite have shipped middle class and working class jobs away from Baltimore and cities and towns around the U.S. to third-world dictatorships like China and others, plunged tens of millions of good, hard-working Americans into economic devastation, and then followed that action around the nation by diminishing every American’s civil rights protections in order to control an unfairly impoverished population living under an ever-declining standard of living and suffering at the butt end of an ever-more militarized and aggressive surveillance state.

The innocent working families of all backgrounds whose lives and dreams have been cut short by excessive violence, surveillance, and other abuses of the Bill of Rights by government pay the true price, and ultimate price, and one that far exceeds the importances of any kids’ game played tonight, or ever, at Camden Yards. We need to keep in mind people are suffering and dying around the U.S., and while we are thankful no one was injured at Camden Yards, there is a far bigger picture for poor Americans in Baltimore and everywhere who don’t have jobs and are losing economic civil and legal rights.

04.26.15

Remembering The Pre-Enron Field Era With 100% Cotton

Posted in Baseball, Fashion at 2:53 pm by

From Animals & Children, a Bad Brains-themed tribute to the World’s Greatest Structure That Isn’t Being Used For Anything (with the possible exception of Phil Jackson’s office).

Matt Hardy : Don’t Crowd Me With Your Crowdfunding

Posted in Professional Wrestling, The Marketplace at 2:43 pm by

You’ll need to watch ’til the end, but essentially, Matt Hardy would appreciate if none of his fans confuse him with Percy Ross (video link courtesy Max Meehan)

04.25.15

Crowd Control, Belgrade P.D. Style

Posted in Football, Mob Behavior at 10:53 pm by

above : scenes from today’s clashes between police and supporters of visiting Partizan Belgrade prior to their match with Red Star Belgrade.

04.24.15

Valuable Perspective Courtesy Of Luis Castilo

Posted in Baseball at 11:12 pm by

For those of us who are in mild mourning over the end of the Mets’ 11 game winning streak, the previously untouchable Jacob deGrom getting shelled and Michael Pineda looking as dominant as, well, pre 4/24/15  Jacob deGrom, Luis Castillo would like to remind everyone that it could’ve been much, much worse :

In Which Mets Prospect Noah Syndergaard Takes A Firm Stand Against The Population Explosion

Posted in Baseball, twitter twatter at 12:04 pm by

I don’t know which Nancy Mr. @Mets24seven is referring to  (and since he’s deleted his account, I cannot ask him directly). But Nancy Allen totally ruled in “Dressed To Kill” and “Robocop”, so keep your head up, Noah. You’re in awesome company!

04.23.15

Way To Kill A Great Gimmick, Rusev

Posted in Hockey, Professional Wrestling at 11:54 pm by

04.22.15

One Frenchman’s Bold Attempt To Bring Competitive Swimming To The Sporting Mainstream

Posted in olympics at 8:20 pm by

Excerpts from Olympic gold medalist Amaury Leveaux’s new book, ‘Sex, Drugs and Swimming’ were published this week, and the unsavory revelations caused  French Swimming Federation veep Lucien Gastaldello to declare Leveaux (above, right) had “shot himself in the foot.”  “”Everyone is disgusted by his attitude,” said Gastaldello. “He was going to do television commentaries on some forthcoming events. He can forget that. Who would speak to him now?” Well, in addition to persons looking to purchase or sell cocaine, I would guess many people.  From the BBC :

In a chapter dealing with drug use, Leveaux says that top French swimming stars regularly snort cocaine, mainly – but not only – for fun.

“Some of us wouldn’t spit at a little line of coke from time to time. For others it’s not just a little line, it’s a complete motorway covered in white powder which they zoom down at top speed,” he writes.

“And then let’s not be coy – cocaine is a doping agent. It is the kind of happy drug which gives you the feeling of being invincible and never tired – pushing back your limits and transforming you into a warrior ready for anything.”

He says on one occasion during the Olympics a trainer came to their rooms and warned them that an anti-doping test would take place the next day. “He specifically mentioned cocaine as one to avoid. I found that strange.”

Leveaux also describes an incident at the London Games, where one of the French swimmers – he does not give the name – left a nightclub in the company of the establishment’s female press officer.

“Later that night he sent me a text saying I should come round to the girl’s flat – and that’s where I found him lying on top of her and sniffing a line of coke from between her breasts,” he writes.