02.01.07

For A Real Shitty Time, Call 646-418-1232

Posted in Blogged Down, Sports Journalism, Will Leitch Sucks at 5:03 pm by

I’m sophisticated enough about the big, goofy world of publicity to understand that CBS Sportsline’s Alex Rietmiller probably meant no harm in sending me a press release announcing that Will Leitch would be “glogging” Super Bowl XLI for SportsLine.

“We obviously pride ourselves on our strong original editorial, but pushing out additional content from unique voices like Deadspin and eventually allowing our best and brightest fans to publish on our site is a game-changer for us,” said Joe Ferreira, vice president of programming and executive producer of CBS SportsLine.

That said, it probably wasn’t a great idea to include the Screech’s phone number on the blurb.

12.14.06

Of Rockers Virtual And Virulent

Posted in Baseball, Racism Corner, Video Games, Will Leitch Sucks at 1:52 pm by

Deadspin’s Will Leitch links to a story claiming Tigers reliever Joel Zumaya sucked the big one in the World Series because of a jones for Guitar Hero 2.  I suspect this report is a cover — Zumaya doesn’t want the hyper-sensitive Jimmy Leyland to know he’s been playing that Columbine Massacre video game.  But that’s no big thing compared to author/journalist Jeff Pearlman’s take on Leitch’s recent happy hour audience with John Rocker.

In the course of our day together seven years ago, John and I stopped at a school for special-needs children somewhere outside of Atlanta. From the looks of it, the place didn’t have many financial resources, and Rocker’s appearance was probably the highlight of the year. Teachers oohed and aahed, kids went crazy. Upon our arrival, the two of us went into a back office, where an administrator explained to John that as he entered the gymnasium, they would play Twisted Sister’s “I Wanna Rock.”

Rocker nodded, did his thing, spoke (well) for five or 10 minutes, then returned to the office. With nary a flinch, he grabbed the CD, grinned and said to the overwhelmed administrator, “Y’all don’t mind if I have this, do you?” Then he left.

John Rocker is right. I am a liberal Jew from New York with an agenda. I have two African-American nephews who I want to grow up in a world indifferent to the color of their skin. I have gay friends who deserve the same love and respect and legal protections as everyone else. I don’t condemn people for not speaking English, just as I don’t condemn Rocker for speaking moron (OK, that’s a cheap shot, but it sure felt good).

If nothing else, at least we’re now up to speed on the biggest threat to Georgia’s cash-strapped public schools ; moochers who run off with the Twisted Sister CD’s.  On behalf of the Peachtree state’s future leaders, I beg educators and administrators, don’t allow Chipper Jones to slink off with the Kix albums. They’re an important part of the curriculum.

12.13.06

Will Leitch & John Rocker : Meeting Of The (Simple) Minds

Posted in Baseball, Racism Corner, Will Leitch Sucks at 3:49 pm by

Before we get into the whole “what’s with the Will Leitch abuse?” question CSTB neophytes occasionally ask, I’ll remind you there’s a whole category to your right that you can peruse and come to your own nutty conclusions. But I will point out there have been a handful of occasions in which I’ve given the Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme Munching Motherfucker his props, the big one being the time he risked sending his own pretty face to hell by stepping into the box against John Rocker.

I’m truly sorry to say that said thumbs-up to Screechy is officially revoked. Leitch interviews Rocker at Deadspin today, and depending on your point of view, he either gives the former Brave ample rope with which to hang himself, or provides a strangely sympathetic shoulder for this lamebrain to cry on. Though there’s a handful of revelations (eg. Rocker was barred from entering Bungalow 8 because of a “Dominican doorman”, he describes John Schuerholz as “a real asshole…a complete moron…a piece of shit,”) the following excerpts are my favorite portions.

Leitch : What I find amazing about the aftermath of the story, and this is what I wrote in the Deadspin piece, was that Americans love second acts. No matter what a celebrity does, if they say they’re sorry for it, and seem legitimately apologetic, we tend to root for them to recover, at least until they screw up again. But that never happened with you. You gave that interview, and from every day since then until now, you were The Racist. You never got a second act. I’m not saying you necessarily deserved one, but people usually don’t deserve one. Why do you think that interview just set it all in stone like that? Did you ever try to resalvage your reputation? Are you still trying? Is that what the book is for?

Rocker : Naw, I don’t think the book will help with that, and I don’t care. The book is more conservative Republican rantings. The Bill O’Reillys of the world, they will appreciate it, the Rush Limbaughs of the world will appreciate it, but, unfortunately, most members of the media – well, I don’t know what you are politically.

Leitch : I’m an agnostic. Politics terrify me.

Rocker : Well, anyway, those liberal media people, they’ll appreciate some things, but I am a Republican. I’m not Republican in everything – I mean, look at my girlfriend – and I’m not a huge pro-lifer, but I think 95 percent-plus of the media is liberal, and they see me as the antichrist of liberal views. It’s much easier for them to just keep piling on than to look closer and realize that, hey, we might have been wrong about this guy.

Leitch : When you guys walk down the street, and people see that you’re John Rocker, do they say anything?

Rocker : I don’t ever make eye contact with people on the street. I’ve become like a New Yorker in that way. People want to say, “Hey, has John Rocker changed, has he turned over a new leaf?” I haven’t changed at all. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for journalists to admit that I haven’t changed; they were just wrong. Maybe they made me change by writing an article or something. That song by Joe Walsh, “Life’s Been Good To Me So Far,” that’s totally how it is. I haven’t changed.

Leitch : How far along with the book are you?

Rocker : I’ve got about 70 pages written. I’ve put it on hold for a bit until I find a publisher. When the deal is done, I’ll finish it up over the course of the next couple of months. That’s the thing, though: When people have an agenda, that’s all that matters. Jeff Pearlman is who he is: A liberal Jew from New York. He’s one of their own, who spent a couple of hours with me, pulled things out of context, and you’re trying to create a persona of an individual when you don’t know them.

(prior liberal Jew from New York postings on the subject of John Rocker :
Noted Free Speech Advocate Dimisses Sensitivity Training, 6/25/06
Some Of John Rocker’s Best Friends, 6/01/06
Rocker Still Smarting Over Glavine Blow-off, 3/29/06
Panic In Needle Dick Park, 3/7/06
Racist Fuck Down On His Luck To Appear On The Deuce, 3/6/06
Ladies Of Long Island, Take Note, 2/27/06
Grassroots Effort To Give Guns To Quail Picks Up Steam, 2/19/06
Racist Fuck No Longer A Duck, 6/27/05
Dumb Rocker Aspires To Deafness, 05/13/05
Pete Jr. Sticks Up For Rocker, 05/12/05
Rocker Compares Self To Jackie, 05/6/05
Rocker, Still A Millionaire, 05/04/05
Racist Fuck Extends Olive Branch, 04/15/05
Ducks Sign Racist Fuck, 04/8/05

12.01.06

LJ’s Praise For Herm And The Poop On Scoop

Posted in Gridiron, Racism Corner, Sports Journalism, Will Leitch Sucks at 2:34 pm by

I didnt’ catch Chris Carter’s interview with the Chiefs’ Larry Johnson on HBO’s “Inside The NFL” last night, but Jeffrey Flanagan of the Kansas City Star quotes a few of the highlights.

Carter asked LJ, œDo you think Herm Edwards (above), being an African-American and you being raised, of course, by an African-American, that you see a lot of similarities in Herm that you saw in your dad that made you open up to him?

LJ™s response: œI think so. I could relate to Herman. I couldn™t do that with the other coaches I had because they had not done it. You know, they haven™t put those pads or they haven™t been in the situation as a young black athlete and know what we had to go through.

œYou know, when we go out, you know, we like to go out. You know, we like to hang out. We like to have fun. But then you got to worry about the guy around the corner with the gun. You got to worry about this girl on the block. You got to worry about, you know, your parents. You got to worry about your homeboys taking advantage of you.

œThere™s so much things you got to worry about being a young black athlete. And to be able to have a father like mine and have a coach like Herm, I was able to escape a lot of those realities and find myself in a new ray of light.

Conversely, LJ wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic when asked about Herm’s predecessor, Dick Vermeil.

œI wouldn™t pay attention, Johnson said of playing under Vermeil. œMy eyes, I would be up in the sky. You know, I would be sleeping in my locker. I wouldn™t carry my playbook because I was just trying to get away from this building, you know, when Dick was here.

ESPN ombudsman George Solomon has made the none-too-original observation that Michael Irvin’s ill-advised remarks regarding Tony Romo’s ancestry are comparable to the comments that cost Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder his CBS gig. As luck would have it, Solomon’s comments appear the very same day that Deadspin’s Will Leitch takes ESPN.com’s Scoop Jackson to task for the latter’s theft appropriation of the term “Orange Roundie”, previously employed by Yay Sports. Of course, this is the first time in recorded history a full-time, electronic correspondent has blatantly lifted material from elsewhere without attribution. Since there’s no Gakwer Media ombudsman on hand to sort it out, let’s be absolutely clear about this. Swiping of someone else’s writing is inexcusable and shameful. While watering down entire concepts and themes that others have previously mastered is…kinda lucrative.

10.16.06

Dear Mr. Motherfucking Content Thief

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 6:10 pm by

If you’re gonna use a photograph that I took of Eric Byrnes pretending he’s Bob Probert, please, go right ahead. But the very least you can do is acknowledge where you grabbed it from. If such a common courtesy is completely beyond your limited capabilities, I’m afraid I will have to continue to pay the homeless to beat off on photos of your fiancee.

yours,

Suck My Dick Avedon

ADDENDUM :

To the mailbag!

Was just sent the link to your post about the Byrnes photo. You’ll have to forgive me; I took the photo from this site —two weeks ago and credited him then. I did not know that he had taken it from you. My apologies. I’ve updated it in the original post.

Best,
Will

I think we have to agree this a stand-up act from a man who earns a living sitting down. And in the spirit of greater harmony, not only shall I refrain from further attempts to bribe those less fortunate into a vulgar act involving an innocent person’s likeness, but said funds will instead be re-directed towards a charitable donation to Avert.org, in honor of St. Louis’ noble efforts to reduce the spread of gonorrhea.

10.03.06

Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme Apologist Goes Overboard

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 1:14 am by

There’s an action packed thread taking place over at the venerable Baseball Think Factory (what else is new?), this one concerning the Human Whoopee Cushion’s clumsy handling of the Jason Grimsley affidavit, and his subsequent apology for implicating Albert Pujols’ trainer, Chris Mihlfeld.

In additon to learning that my long-standing enmity towards Will Leitch is based on a “Cards/Cubs rivalry” (!), further revelations were provided by avowed CSTB non-reader Garth Sears.

Will Leitch, editor-in-chief and main writer of Deadspin.com, used to be the editor-in-chief I believe of The Sporting News and I would imagine is one of the finer and best-paid sports bloggers out there. As such, I’m sure he has very good sources in many places. He’s actually turning his profession into a money-making proposition. Go figure.

Screech was an associate/online editor for The Sporting News.  He did, however, discover the internet and was personally responsible for finding the Lindbergh baby.

That said, Sears must be way older than me. I can’t remember when prostitution wasn’t a money-making proposition (and his mom giving out free samples really doesn’t count).

10.02.06

Where Does Chris Mihlfeld Go To Get His Reputation Back?

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism, Will Leitch Sucks at 11:06 am by

The Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme Eating Motherfucker uses “we” where “I” would surely be more appropriate.

As many of you will remember, back in June, a source we thought was reliable leaked to us that one of the names in the infamous Jason Grimsley HGH affidavit was Chris Mihlfeld (above), who is the former trainer for Grimsley and the longtim (sic) trainer of Albert Pujols. As evidenced by the Los Angeles Times this weekend, our source was, sadly, wrong. And therefore, so were we: Mihlfeld appears not to be named in the document.

So, a clearing of the decks, a mea culpa: We were wrong to trust our source’s information, and we were wrong to print their claim that he was in the document. We apologize to Mihlfeld and deeply regret the error.

Nice work, Screech. They must be very proud of you at the Daily Illini.

09.21.06

Whose Sex Life Is Lamer, Zach Randolph Or Will Leitch?

Posted in Basketball, History's Great Hook-Ups, Will Leitch Sucks at 9:32 pm by

The Oregonian’s Maxine Bernstein on the recent sexual assault charges filed against the Blazers’ Zach Randolph (link swiped from True Hoop) :

The investigation showed that Randolph (above) asked his “occasional sex partner” and another woman whom he had not met before to perform a simulated sex show at the hotel room. There was some discrepancy as to whether or not Randolph asked the women to perform oral sex, but there was no dispute that sex was only simulated in the show that was performed, Rees wrote in the memo.

The woman who filed the complaint said Randolph was disappointed that the show had only simulated sex and refused to pay her. After the show, she said, she had consensual sex with Randolph’s friend and then fell asleep or “passed out.” She claimed she awoke and found Randolph trying to have anal sex with her. She told investigators she awoke and “slapped” Randolph away twice. Ultimately, she told police that Randolph lifted her onto a table and had sex with her while she shook her head “no,” the memo says.Prosecutors said the woman admitted she was extremely intoxicated, having had three cocktails and three double shots of tequila — alcohol purchased by Randolph.

The other woman involved in the show told investigators she did not witness any sex between Randolph and the complainant, saying she was physically ill and spent about 21/2 hours in the bathroom.

A male friend of Randolph’s was in the room and was interviewed by detectives. He described himself as a member of the “Hoop Family,” one of Randolph’s close associates. He said he “frequently sexually shares women” with Randolph but denied any knowledge of money passing between Randolph and the women that night.

Observed the Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme Eating Motherfucker, “it makes the supposedly glorious life of an NBA star sound boozy, drowsy and extremely unhappy. And pathetic, from all sides.”

Perhaps. But we all have our own ways of defining unhappy and pathetic.

09.11.06

Raise Your Game, People!

Posted in Free Expression, Will Leitch Sucks at 7:18 pm by

The Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme Eating Motherfucker (above) lays down the law to his mouth-breathing acoloytes and those who wish to scarf the spicy sauce. Said edict should in no way be confused with this sort of thing.

You no longer have to ask to be approved for comments. That is not to say that the approval-based system no longer exists. Far from it, in fact: There’s now a stricter system in place. It’s just that, as you might have noticed, you can go ahead and type in comments on stories without having been explicitly sent an invite. What happens to these comments? They go into a little queue, and at the end of the day, we dig through this queue and see which commenters appear to have something to contribute to the Deadspin experience. If you’re approved — and we’re going to be rather stingy about this — your comments will appear on the site, and you’ll be a member of the gang. So if your comment shows, congrats: You’re in. If your comment doesn’t make it, it doesn’t mean you’re permanently out of the loop. You just need to keep trying. As we have established, you gotta raise your game around here.

09.07.06

It’s All Making Sense Now

Posted in Will Leitch Sucks at 6:51 pm by

The tendency to rebel against the path set by one’s parents, while entirely natural, is no guarantee of success in a particular field. Whether it’s the fruit of Rupert Murdoch’s loins going belly up with the otherwise wonderous Rawkus label or Vince McMahon Jr. morphing his dad’s company into the garish “sports entertainment” empire we know and loathe today, history is litered with such examples.

So with that in mind, I can fully understand why Will Leitch waited until Deadspin’s One Year Anniversary to reveal that he is the offspring of James Dolan.

08.29.06

Open Bar, Eh?

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 7:20 pm by

I have to admit, I’m very impressed the Taco Bell Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme spokesmodel would put his petty jealousies aside when issuing the above invites. On the other hand, if you were about to marry this, you’d no longer be so picky about who you were hanging out with, either.

Though it’s a nice thought, I have a prior engagement at Brian Bannister Bobblehead Night on Coney Island. And I’d sooner leave Von LMO in charge of my house than willingly spend time at Blondie’s of the Upper East Side. Was the Ground Round all booked up?

Still, just cuz I’m busy doesn’t mean the rest of you lot can’t crash the shindig. Tell Ariana Huffington I said hi!

The Motherfucker Of All Flame Wars…

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 2:08 pm by

…is not, sadly,between myself and a pseudononymous Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme acolyte, aka “jblo” who contributed the following to Deadspin’s (registration-required) comments section :

I’m sorry, but that’s just plain unfair.

I hate Will far more than Mel Gibson hates Jews. And unlike Mel, I can be completely sober when stating publicly that ethically challenged, xenophobic, frat-fuck pandering “nice guys” like Will are responsible for all of the wars in the world.

Instead, the real virtual brawl to settle it all is taking place right this moment between Michael Kay and Larry Bowa. Sort of.

07.25.06

Reynolds, Wrapped : Moron From Mattoon Renders Illinois Journalism Degree Worthless

Posted in Sports Journalism, Sports TV, Will Leitch Sucks at 6:38 pm by

Slightly overeager to detemine the true cause of Harold Reynolds’ dismissal from ESPN yesterday, Deadspin’s Will Leitch gleefully ran 5 seperate, unattributed items claiming the former Mariners second baseman’s termination was related to a specific charge of sexual harrassment, if not a longstanding pattern of behavior.

Having succeeded in publicly smearing Reynolds, Leitch followed the matter up later in the day with an “insider” denial of the sexual harrassment allegations (supposedly, Reynolds had an off-camera “meltdown” during discussions of “Baseball Tonight”s coverage of the A-Rod saga). Far from contrite in any role he might’ve played in libeling Reynolds, Leitch added,

The longer ESPN pretends like nothing happened, like they’re a corner shop with three employees, believing this stuff can possibly remain private, the more talk there will be. Still, this is the lone “it’s not sexual harassment email” we’ve received.

So there you have it. ESPN is obliged to provide full, explicit details of just what is happening within their walls, otherwise Will Leitch’s readers might die of curiosity. 5 anonymous tips calling Harold Reynolds a serial ass-grabbber obviously carry more weight than one denial. If Leitch can just find another dozen people to say the Holocaust never happened, well, that’s good enough for me.

Of course, even if he has no conscience to speak of, Leitch is perfectly entitled to go after whatever public figures he wants — though I suspect it might be a tad tougher finding financing for a blog that openly discusses Nick Denton’s sexual history. And on that tip, let’s not kid ourselves. A cocktail party or two turns out differently and the Taco Bell Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme eating motherfucker could just as easily have been writing gags for Page 2, while some other sad sack (preferably one with a personality and not nearly as obvious a browser history) is shitting all over the Connecticut-based Disney employees.

UPDATE :  Newsday’s Neil Best citing his sources as “three people who work at ESPN” reports tonight that “the cause was a pattern of sexual harassment, apparently culminating in a recent incident involving one of the network’s young production assistants.”

Sexual harassment charges are nothing new at ESPN, which operates out of a sprawling “campus” in relatively isolated Bristol, Conn., and employs many production assistants in their early 20s. The network has an extensive program of education and sensitivity regarding gender issues and an elaborate system for pursuing claims of sexual harassment.

Keith Olbermann of MSNBC, a former ESPN host, told The New York Observer in 2004 he had testified in “three or four major cases at ESPN.”

If push comes to shove, Best should be able to produce some documentation that these claims came from actual persons who work at ESPN.  Unless of course, he too, is comfortable with being 80% sure.

07.20.06

Apparently, Clothes Do Not Make The Man

Posted in Gridiron, History's Great Hook-Ups, Will Leitch Sucks at 1:42 pm by

Of a report in today’s Boston Herald citing Patriots coach Bill Belichick (above) as “The Other Man” in a New Jersey divorce case (Belichick has supposedly been carrying on with Sharon Shennoca, “a slim, blue-eyed 41-year-old stay-at-home mom,” and former New York Giants receptionist), the Human Whoopie Cushion writes, “It’s impossible for anyone to deny Belichick’s coaching prowess over the last few years. But who know what he was capable of?”

Good grief, apparently the Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme spokesmodel has forgotten the whole mess just a few months ago in which the coach was linked to Bonnie Bernstein, along with insinutations by the Globe’s Ron Borges that Belichick might be doing something unsavory “when everyone else is sleeping”. If a professional “sports” blogger’s sole claim to fame is his ability to stay on top of others’ zipper problems (aside from his own, naturally), is a little research (said in Geico caveman voice) too much to ask for?

(Sorry, I forgot about the other claim to fame.)

07.18.06

Hopefully, The Conclusion Of Scott Schafer’s MySpaceGate

Posted in Baseball, The Internet, Will Leitch Sucks at 5:16 pm by

Ryan McConnell’s Always Amazin’ is a regular treasure trove of Mets info, and unlike a certain lazy, duplicitious shitbag, he’s very good at attributing where some of his content comes from. On Tuesday, McConnell linked to a report by the Newark Star-Ledger’s Lisa Kennelly on Scott Schafer’s fateful encounter with a popular social networking website.

The Texas teenager might have gotten away with putting the Mets logo on the page. But the references to his anatomy and the jokes about how much the 18-year-old pitcher enjoyed beer? Well, that’s another matter.

The Mets launched an investigation into his character. The agent who had been advising Schafer dropped him. And eventually he signed for a lower price than his sixth-round status warranted.

He’s now pitching for the rookie level Gulf Coast Mets in Florida, where he has made one start, allowing no runs on a hit and two walks, and striking out three in two innings. The MySpace profile has since been taken down. The Mets declined to make him available for an interview or to comment.

Overreaction? Maybe. Nobody’s business but his? Hardly.

Schafer’s case shows that sports are no exception to the risks of the information age, where it takes less time to Google for pictures of drunk athletes than it does to Mapquest your way to the stadium.

“There’s no such thing as a private life,” said Marjorie Brody, an author and expert on business etiquette. “Everyone has access to everything.”

Matt Sosnick, who represents Marlins’ pitcher Dontrelle Willis among other major leaguers, was advising Schafer when he heard about the 18-year-old’s MySpace comments. He was concerned enough with its vulgarity to sever his ties with Schafer.

“We just felt like, when I was told exactly what had been written, that it was a bad basis for our relationship,” Sosnick said.

Using good judgment about one’s public image is nothing new. The Mets do not advise their players specifically about their visibility on the Internet, but the team speaks generally about players being smart about what they do in their time away from the ballpark.

“When we talk to all the young players in the spring, we tell them as soon as you are identified with the Mets organization, you have to be conscious of everything,” says Jay Horwitz, Mets vice president of media relations. “Anything you do as a member of the Mets organization is magnified.”

Damn. Heavy stuff. I’m very down with the modern world, and you don’t have to tell me there’s precious little privacy on the net for talented young people. Or for this guy, either.

And who better to pass judgement on an 18 year old than a former teenage ticket scalper like Matt Sosnick?

Finally, today is a terrific day for Jay Horowitz to pontificate on the Mets’ efforts to protect their young players from doing something that might make them look stupid in public.

I’m not connected nearly well enough to know if the hemming and hawing over a mooted White Sox/Mets deal has died down yet, but Metsradmus has done his part to end the conversation.

Apparently there’s still a large misconception floating around major league circles. Allow me to clarify you GM’s out there who happen to be reading this blog looking for ideas:

Jim Duquette no longer works here.

How else could one explain this phenomenon, the one which manifests itself into White Sox GM Kenny Williams requesting Filthy Sanchez and Mike Pelfrey for Freddy Garcia…a pitcher that is experiencing some “dead arm” issues.

Williams obviously has been drinking the Chuck Lamar kool-aid while reading his new book “The Best Trades Are The Ones You Don’t Make, Unless The Mets Are On The Other End Of The Phone”.

The Kansas City Star’s Bob Dutton claims the Royals and Mets are discussing a swap of 2B Rubin Gotay for Tides 2B Jeff Keppinger. Apparently, Keppinger is forever buried on the organization’s depth chart behind Jose Valentin, Chris Woodward, Anderson Hernandez and Tim Teuful. Even Aaron Heilman thinks he’s being disrespected.

Lastings Milledge had a paid of hits and an RBI in the Tides’ 6-5 loss to Indianapolis yesterday. The back-from-suspension Yusaku Iriki allowed 6 runs on 9 hits, walking 3 in 5 innings. Iriki was working on two days’ rest, but considering he had about two months off, I suppose no one is worried about wrecking his arm.

07.17.06

Penny Assails Teammates, Grady Talks About The Weather

Posted in "Wife Beater" Is Not A Fashion Statement, Baseball, Cricket, Will Leitch Sucks at 4:54 pm by

It was a lost weekend for the Dodgers in St. Louis, and self-appointed Arbiter of Effort Brad Penny (above) isn’t taking things lying down. From the LA Daily News’ Tony Jackson.

œWe looked sloppy, said Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny, who clearly wasn’t at his best in his first start since a two-inning stint in the All-Star Game. œWe had two extra-inning games where we had a chance, but we didn’t play very good. It’s that simple.

œWe need more enthusiasm. We look tired all the time. We just looked flat. We let people take extra bases, and I left balls over the plate and didn’t make my pitches.

œIf we’re going to make it to the playoffs, we have to start picking it up a lot.

Shortly after the game-time temperature was announced at 93 degrees ” suggesting they must keep the thermometer in the shade ” Penny took the mound and gave up consecutive, one-out doubles to Chris Duncan and Albert Pujols, putting the Dodgers in a 1-0 hole.

Although the Cardinals are used to playing in such conditions and although the Dodgers’ idea of humidity is being hit in the face by ocean spray while standing on the Santa Monica Pier, Dodgers manager Grady Little refused to say the weather was a factor in his team’s four-game humiliation.

œIt was the same for both teams, he said. œIt didn’t matter. They’re not (used to it), either. It’s not this bad here six months out of the year.

Indeed, and perhaps the Dodgers will fare better in those crucial visits to Busch Stadium that take place in December.

Philadelphia’s Brett Myers (above) made his second start since being accused of spousal abuse and collected the win with 7 strong innings against the Giants yesterday. Deadspin’s Will Leitch wonders why the throng at AT&T Park didn’t do the right thing and lambaste the alleged wife-beater.

Not booing Brett Myers? What’s wrong with you guys? Is anybody awake over there?

Alas, the San Francisco Chronicle’s Scott Oster explains, “one possible reason Giants’ fans didn’t spew venom Sunday was that many were unaware. I spoke to more than a dozen women before the game and only two knew vaguely of the story.”

So there you have it. Despite being residents of a cosmopolitan city, a town with no shortage of newspapers, sports radio, TV, internet access, etc., many of the casual fans in attendence are blissfully ignorant of things that happen outside of their own little world. Kind of like an alleged NYC resident who apparently has never witnessed a cricket match of any sort. No wonder his parents put all his stuff in the back of a cab, the Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme-eating motherfucker needs to get out of the house more often.

07.12.06

Will Leitch’s New School Of Journalism

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism, Will Leitch Sucks at 10:55 pm by

You’d think a life-long, red-feathered St. Louis Cardinals fan like Will Leitch would have to be 100% certain before spreading a rumor about one of the names redacted in the Jason Grimsley indictment — especially knowing that the name in question, that of former Royals strength & conditioning coach Chris Mihlfeld (above) would ultimately be linked to the former wrestler’s client and pal, the Cards’ All-Universe 1B Albert Pujols.


(Leitch. Not shown : Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme, fed-up parents)

As it turns out, 80% sure is close enough. From Pitch.com’s Ben Payner (link courtesy Repoz)

Will Leitch, the New York City-based, full-time editor of Deadspin.com, stands by his story. Leitch has a journalism degree from the University of Illinois and says he has written for Sporting News, The St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The New York Times. Last year, his site was lauded in a Sports Illustrated piece about credible online sources. But Deadspin is part of Gawker Media, a blog company that has a reputation for using questionable reporting methods and sources.

Leitch says his source was operating on secondhand information leaked by another person who claimed to have seen an unredacted version of the Grimsley affidavit. Leitch acknowledges that the mainstream media wouldn’t have considered the source legitimate. But he says his site did annotate the report by explaining that its credibility was an eight on a scale of 10. “Is The New York Times willing to run with that story? Probably not,” Leitch admits. “But we said upfront there’s a possibility that we’re not 100 percent on this. I have no choice but to stand by my source just like any other journalist would.”

Pujols (above) has also offered to cover Mihlfeld’s legal fees if the trainer does file a lawsuit against those who have accused him of having a connection to steroids. “Definitely, because I know the guy and I know he’s innocent,” Pujols says. “I just wish the stupid people who wrote whatever they did about the guy, they should have found out the facts before they wrote their stupid article. But that’s just how the media is, and that’s something you can’t control.”

05.11.06

Stalking : Very Funny Until Someone Decides To Press Charges

Posted in Blogged Down, The Law, Will Leitch Sucks at 1:51 pm by

On Monday in this space, the case of Evan Chaggaris was briefly noted.

Chaggaris (above) was sentenced to five months probation after being found guilty of writing threatening letters to various ESPN employees, including unspecified on-air talent.

David Scott of Scott’s Shots
has many of the specifics, gory details that have the squeamish Will Leitch commenting,

Suddenly, it doesn’t seem very funny. Not that it ever did.

Of course not. “Funny” would be encouraging the nation’s youth to stalk Chris Berman and risk a slapping from the alleged lothario’s meaty paws. “Funny” would be accepting a paycheck from a firm that not only rejoices in the invasion of celebrity privacy, but provides a fucking map for those who might wanna, y’know, dismember the stars and starlets who’ve previously eluded them. “Funny” would be proclaiming virtually every “Fire ______ ” website to be a work of near-genius, yet expressing surprise when you suddenly find yourself with “An Unknown Online Enemy.”

Or maybe it isn’t really that funny. Maybe it’s just the height of hypocrisy.

04.13.06

Fatuous Fop In Social Networking Denial

Posted in Will Leitch Sucks at 11:42 am by

We don™t have a MySpace page, mainly because we think we have enough of an Internet presence, thank you very much.

Yeah, whatever. You’re much too cool for that sort of thing.

03.25.06

Fearless Fop Leaps On Anti-Cowherd Bandwagon

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 9:43 pm by

Friday afternoon, Will Leitch made perhaps his boldest public statement since making us read about his penis troubles. Yesterday, he took the unprecedented step of calling out the Ben Domenech of hate fuck radio, Colin Cowherd.

A note — once again — for those of you who read “the Internet.” The “Internet” is produced by people, human beings; it is not something that just appears, zap!, out of the ether. When you read something on “the Internet,” it was written by someone, a person who has a dog, eats cereal in the morning and pays his/her electric bill. It didn’t just show up; it belongs to someone. You can’t just take it. It’s pretty amazing we have to keep saying this.

Nice one, Will. I couldn’t agree more.

03.20.06

Leitch Crony/JT Leroy Stalker Sued

Posted in non-sporting journalism, Sports Journalism, Will Leitch Sucks at 1:52 pm by

Incredibly, shilling for one Gawker Media property is no protection against ridicule from another. (thanks to Jay Strell for the heads-up).

03.13.06

Displaced Cards Fan Grapples With Recent Mets History

Posted in Baseball, Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 2:05 pm by

Will Leitch struggles to think of “Four Things You Didn’t Know About The New York Mets”.

4) Glavine Still Has All of His Teeth.

Pitcher Tom Glavine, who is closing in on 300 career victories (he needs 25), almost never made it to the majors. He was a three-time All-Conference hockey player at Billerica (Mass.) Memorial High School, and was drafted by both the Atlanta Braves and in the fourth round and by the Los Angeles Kings (NHL) in 1984.

A fascinating tidbit. Except Tom Glavine doesn’t have all of his teeth.

02.28.06

Human Whoopee Cushion Vs. Vescey

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down, Sports Journalism, Will Leitch Sucks at 6:55 pm by

The New York Post’s Peter Vescey is Will Leitch’s latest nominee for “Your Hometown Columnist Sucks”, a pretty rich concept considering that a “columnist” in Leitch’s own hometown would be the person who transcribes the cinema start times.

Writes Will,

is Vecsey at least funny? You tell us: “Following his 1-for-16 misadventure in Game 1 against the Sonics, Mike Bibby, desperate to figure out his shooting problem, drove to the nearest Wendy’s to see if its employees could put their finger on it.” Um, what?

Admittedly, that’s not even close to Vescey’s best line. But still funnier than anything you’d find in a month of reading Deadspin.

Though hardly above reproach, Vescey is the guy who suggested that Pat Riley stopped talking about “The Disease Of Me” and switched to “The Disease Of Thee” when he noticed Madonna was sitting courtside. The same Vescey that labelled the Daily News’ Filip “King Kong Bondy” and was tearing into Will’s pet Stephen “Anal” Smith when Deadspin was just a twinkle in Nick Denton’s eye.

Some other recent classic gems from Vescey’s “Hoops Du Jour” :

Georgia™s runaway bride, Jennifer Wilbanks, has been indicted for filing false statements and false police reports. She faces up to six years in the pokey, or, if the judge really wants to stick it to her, six Hawks home games.

John Stockton, by the way, returned to the Delta Center Wednesday night at the Jazz unveiled an eight-foot statue of him outside the arena. The statue inside the arena is known as Carlos Boozer.

After eyeballing Sunday™s 64-62 eyesore (the Pistons won despite missing each and every one of 15 field goal tries in the fourth quadrant) Larry Brown announced he was going in for additional hip surgery. He denies he has any intentions of switching hospitals.

Michael Olowokandi finally earned his Timberwolves keep by provoking Nene into a fist-fight, the way it was meant to be, mano-a-mano instead of mano-a-fanatico. Both received the same four-game sanctioned sentence and we all know who came out ahead on that score. The Crying Wolves, who hosted Toronto last night, have dutifully improved on this Kandi-free diet, winning that game in Denver and the next vs. the frontcourt-less Blazers.

This just in: So it shouldn™t be a total loss, Latrell Sprewell petitioned David Stern to turn over Olowokandi™s paychecks to his near starving family.

Say this much about Darko, his team has made the playoffs both of his seasons. Joe Dumars deserves a lot of credit for for not trading up and taking LeBron James.

David Stern™s league, chock full of provocatively dressed and undulating dance teams, has banned players from listening to music during pre-game warm-ups. Vince Carter and others got the word iPods are not part of the NBA™s standard uniform and thus cannot be worn.

Carter, who received the iPod as a gift for being the only person not attacked at the Vibe awards, is appealing Stern™s fearless ruling.

Donald Stern and Mark Cuban have worked out a deal re fines. In the future, any money collected from the owner will be used to bribe people to watch his next show.

Kobe made a point of thanking the Clippers for their interest when the Lakers played them during preseason, but, œlike I always say, no means no.

As far as I can tell, Vescey’s biggest sin is that he’s far more skilled at disembowling ESPN and TNT’s on-air talent, than our Man from Mantoon.

02.23.06

Human Whoopie Cushion Goes On Vacation, Attention To Detail Slips Even Further

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 1:16 pm by

It’s sad enough when the understudies list Chelsea/Barcelona on ESPN2 as part of “To Watch Tonight” after the match has ended, but what to make of today’s revelation that Spurs G Tony Parker fancies himself to be a rapper?

Fuck, how did the rest of the world miss that one?

Just to save you some time, here are some upcoming Deadspin scoops that will be appearing in the days ahead ;

* – Ron Artest might be crazy.
* – Shaquille O’Neal has also recorded a “rap” album.
* – Steve Nash is Canadian.
* – Kyle Korver is white.

You’re very welcome.

02.06.06

In Defense Of Steve Rushin

Posted in Blogged Down, Sports Journalism, Will Leitch Sucks at 3:53 pm by

The Human Whoopee Cushion seems mildly perturbed that Sports Illustrated’s Steve Rushin has been named National Sportswriter of the Year by the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association. And indeed, who amongst us isn’t disappointed that the award didn’t go to a guy that combs On The DL for his most traffic-boosting features?

On the laff-riot meter, Rushin can be counted on for a funny gag every 2 or 3 issues. Not the highest of batting averages, admittedly, but far better than the Al Leiter of sports blogging.

Writes Will,

Rushin also proves that the best way to win a national sportswriter of the year award is never actually have an opinion, but be a big fan of jokes about Viagra and sand traps.

If only the voters had consisted of bright minds like Warren St. John and Vincent Mallozzi, some overdue recognition could’ve gone to say, a big fan of jokes about Peyton Manning being queer.

Still, as preposterous as it may seem, the Human Whoopie Cushion calling anyone out who can actually string a sentence together, I’m grateful it happened in this instance. The likelihood of Leitch getting his ass kicked by Rebecca Lobo just increased exponentially.