Jackets’ Johnson : My (Stage) Parents Suck

Posted in Hockey, Parental Responsibility at 7:36 pm by

Columbus D Jack Johnson filed for bankruptcy this past October, which is a hell of a situation for a hockey player earning $15 million this season to find himself in. But as the Columbus Post-Dispatch’s Aaron Portlzine explains, things went a little haywire when upon signing a 7-year, $30.5 million pact with the Kings in 2011, Johnson signed power of attorney over to his mother, Tina. 

Tina Johnson borrowed at least $15 million in her son’s name against his future earnings, sources told The Dispatch, taking out a series of high-interest loans — perhaps as many as 18 — from nonconventional lenders that resulted in a series of defaults.

Because Johnson’s name is on the loans, he has been sued at least three times for more than $6 million for defaulting, as in the case of the mortgage on a house in Manhattan Beach, Calif. In court documents, Johnson says his parents bought the house with his money but without his knowledge.

Johnson’s parents allegedly each bought a car, spent more than $800,000 on upgrades to the Manhattan Beach property and traveled, often to see him play NHL games for the Kings and Blue Jackets.

“Jack would ask (his parents) questions: ‘What’s this? What are these guys calling about?’??” a source said. “And they would tell him not to worry about it, just worry about playing hockey.

In his bankruptcy filing, Johnson claims assets of “less than $50,000” and debts of “more than $10 million,” although sources say the debt could be in the neighborhood of $15 million.

Tina Johnson’s cellphone number listed in court documents is no longer in service. Jack Johnson Sr. has not returned several messages left on his cellphone, and several of the lenders have no storefronts or business phones.

The San Antonio Missions Very Loud “Fuck You” To Mascot History

Posted in Baseball, When Mascots Are Attacked at 5:12 pm by

Before : 

after :

I think I speak for all right thinking Texas League (AA) fans (or at least those who attend 2 games a year) when I ask the San Antonio Missions, WHAT HAVE YOU SICK FUCKING BASTARDS DONE TO BALLAPENO?

New Times’ Yousefi : Stanton Megadeal Is The Begining Of The End For Jeffrey Loria In Miami

Posted in Baseball at 12:53 am by

While one observer marked Miami’s signing of Giancarlo Stanton to a 13-year, $325 million extension by recalling a time not so long ago when David Samson lectured another club about fiscal restraint, New Times’ Ryan Yousefi considers it cause for celebration, arguing that amongst other things, locking up Stanton will actually hasten owner Jeffrey Loria’s departure / windfall.

Once all the above things are done, Jeffrey Loria can sell the team and get the hell out of all of our lives.
Let’s be honest here, Loria is in it for the money. He doesn’t give a shit about Miami or baseball. This Stanton deal sets the wheels in motion for all the moves mentioned above, which in turn means Loria profits damn near one-billion dollars on a sale of the team. Who knows what a baseball team with a shiny new TV deal and a new stadium will be worth in seven years, but whatever it is, it will equal a huge profit for Loria, who bought the team for next to nothing compared to what it would be worth.

Signing Stanton is the first domino to fall in the end game that results in Jeffrey Loria skipping town will a Powerball like profit, and Miami should be OK with that. Loria will have left the team better off than he found it, and made himself a shitload of money — granted, much of it on the back of taxpayers thanks to the atrocious stadium deal.

Today was a huge day for baseball in Miami. It may have even saved it.


SonicBids Asks, “Is Your Band’s Personality / Ethos Making It Harder To Suck Up To Corporate America?”

Posted in Rock Und Roll, The Marketplace at 6:46 pm by

(above, Shitfucker, shown at their very successful audition for Carnival Cruise Lines)

I’ll admit I’ve not had a ton of time for SonicBids over the years, mostly because I’m totally allergic to any enterprise that wants to shackle the naive and gullible to some upwardly-mobile fantasy existence that’s really just another version of pay-to-play in disguise. My own health issues aide, SonicBids’ Shaine Freeman recently posed the question, “Is Your Band Name Killing Your Licensing Opportunities?”, an essay that if nothing else, should have members of the Bhopal Stiffs and Barney Rubble & The Cunt Stubble re-examining their priorities. Aside from claiming Toronto’s Fucked Up have missed out on “millions in licensing and corporate partnership revenues” over the years (why not say “billions” or “zillions” for all the hard research that went into this citation?), Freeman seems to be under the impression the sole reason one might form a band is to get paid.

Imagine if Coca-Cola had chose to name its beverage company Shitty-Cola in 1886 when the company was introduced to the public. During an era where profanity was deemed unacceptable, Coca-Cola’s founders would have offended their targeted consumers and likely went to jail for it. So, why any musician would choose to use profanity in the name of their business truly baffles me.

When I say the names Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, N.W.A., or Marilyn Manson, you instantly understand that major corporations will likely never partner with these artists. Two of them are associated with gangs, one is associated with a murderer, and all of them are associated with drugs. While these artists did find some commercial success, they never truly reached their earning potential while operating under those names.

Changing your band name can take a lot of work and will likely require the assistance of a publicist if you’ve established a large fanbase. But, it’s not impossible to make a successful transition from one name to another and keep your audience intact. One way to do this is by getting your fans involved in choosing a new name for your band. This way, they feel even more connected to the restructuring of your identity and will continue to be supportive of the new change.

Freeman makes an excellent point. It’s totally impossible to imagine, for instance, a major automotive campaign featuring Marilyn Manson…except it happened in 2009. And certainly, an association with NWA members Dr. Dre and Ice Cube would give pause to any mainstream commercial enterprise. Imagine how many more billions Apple would’ve paid for Beats were it not for this blot on Dre’s resume?


Brohemian Rhapsody : Calcaterra On The Immoveable Object That Is Nick Swisher

Posted in Baseball at 10:25 pm by

Of the Indians’ hopes of dumping 34 year-old 1B/RF Nick Swisher and the remaining 2 years/$30 million contractual commitment onto another club, Hardball Talk’s Craig Calcaterra notes there’s other considerations at play. Namely, Swisher’s crucial role in selecting the Governor of Brohio.

Where would you trade Swisher anyway? BroYork? Broladelphia? Broakland? Chicagbro? To the Baltimore Broioles? If you’re doing a challenge trade that might work as the Indians could get Ubaldbro Jimenez back, but they let him go a year ago for pete’s sake.

At this point I think it’d be hard to move Swisher. Especially with that contract. Maybe if he waived the $30 million he was owed and requested free agency he could persuade a team in Bropan to sign him. Like, say, the Hiroshima Broyo Carp. Or the Brokohama Bay Stars


There’s another option, however. Swisher could leave the money on the table, retire, and work pro b(r)ono alongside former Philadelphia Record Exchange co-owner turned Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame CEO Greg Harris on the museum’s upcoming “HOSE BEFORE BRO’S” exhibit.

If LeGarrett Blount’s A Cancer, The Pittsburgh Steelers Just Cut Cancer

Posted in Gridiron at 5:42 pm by

Who amongst us hasn’t attended a major sporting event and taken decisive steps to beat the traffic? Pittsburgh RB LeGarette Blount safely presumed he’d not be seeing any action in Monday night’s 27-24 comeback win at Tennessee, and made a rather conspicuous retreat to the locker room (and subsequently, the parking lot). Proving they’re every bit as sensitive as the so-called musicians I routinely walk out on, the Steelers waived Blount earlier today, a roster move chronicled with some lip-licking by the Post-Gazette’s Ray Fittipaldo :

“You know what, man, we have a good team,” said center and team captain Maurkice Pouncey. “If you don’t want to be here, don’t be here. At the end of the day you have your decision to make as a man, and he made it.”

Pouncey said Blount’s release was “a blessing in disguise.”

“We’re fine,” Pouncey said. “We have our starting running back. It’s probably a good thing that it happened. At the end of the day, if it was a cancer, he ended up leaving on his own. That’s a blessing for us. At the end of the day, we’re good. We don’t need him.”

Others echoed Pouncey’s sentiments. Star receiver Antonio Brown said the Steelers have a tradition to uphold and there is a “zero tolerance” policy for selfishness.

On his weekly radio show on 93.7 The Fan, quarterback and team captain Ben Roethlisberger said he did not want to rush to judgment on the situation and wanted to learn more facts. If true, however, he said “it is disturbing.”

Bin Laden’s (Alleged) Shooter Inspires Washington To Abject Defeat

Posted in Gridiron, The Woah, Total Fucking Terror at 12:28 am by

Former Navy Seal Rob O’Neill, who seems to have a rather large stake in the public believing he’s the man that pulled the trigger on Osama Bin Laden, was invited to give Washington’s NFL franchise a pregame pep talk the afternoon prior to a 27-7 defeat at the hands of Tampa Bay. Writes DC Sports Bog’s Marissa Payne, “Is it brave to be a Navy SEAL? You bet. Is it also brave to be a Redskins fan? It certainly can feel that way sometimes.” (good fucking grief)

Perhaps O’Neill’s speech went something like this: “I permanently ended the nefarious doings of the world’s most elusive and wanted terrorist to benefit the whole of humanity. Now, can you just please squeak out a victory against the 1-8 Tampa Bay Buccaneers to salvage this pretty lackluster season? OK, then. USA! USA! USA!”

In all seriousness, though, the Redskins kind of owe O’Neill one (even more than the rest of us). He’s been flaunting his fandom for quite some time now, including in this anonymous March 2013 Esquire profile of O’Neill that my colleague Scott Allen found. Back then, O’Neill was known only as “the Shooter.”

“He had survived his last deployment, and there was a barbecue near his house to celebrate with about thirty close friends from ‘the community.’ The Redskins were on, his favorite team, and there was lots of Commando ale, brewed by a former SEAL.”

O’Neill also subliminally repped the team in his local paper, The Montana Standard, when they ran a profile on him and his involvement in other missions.


Rogue Ref Donaghy : Silver’s Gambling Dream Is Mine, Too

Posted in Basketball at 9:48 pm by

Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy (center) tells the New York Daily News’ Mitch Abramson, “things aren’t exactly well between myself and the NBA at this point.”  Donaghy, he of the 2007 betting scandal that ended his officiating career, claims his pension’s been confiscated to reimburse the league for the costs of investigating his misdeeds, but what better way to make that money back in a hurry than by gambling legally?  This might not be the endorsement NBA commissioner Adam Silver was waiting for, but Donaghy is an enthusiastic supporter of the former’s proposed move towards legalized hoops wagering.

Out of jail and in the sports gambling business, Donaghy says he would stand to profit if Silver gets his wish and sports gambling is made permissible in all states.

“Things will get that much better for my type of business if that happens,” Donaghy said in a phone interview with the Daily News on Friday. “It will get more people involved in gambling knowing that it’s legal and they don’t have to hide what they do.”

“I truly believe that at some point they’re going to have kiosks in every NBA arena, like they do at the airport when you get your boarding pass so you can bet on the games,” Donaghy said. “They’d be like the bookie (taking in) the rake. They have a game plan already laid out on how they’re going to capitalize on it.”

“It’s going to be regulated a lot tighter,” Donaghy said. “I know they would keep an eye on people within the inner circle — the players, the trainers, the referees, anyone who would have inside information.”

In The Final Days Of Death By Audio, Disrespecting Shane Spencer Will Not Be Tolerated

Posted in Baseball, New York, New York at 5:30 pm by

Venerable Williamsburg music space Death By Audio has hosted no shortage of CSTB faves old and new, and as the venue’s closing this week is a source of considerable grief for those of us who appreciated the hospitable venue nearly as much as the creative booking. Still, even with emotions running high, who’d have though a DBA regular would use the club’s demise as an excuse to take a cheap shot at 9 year MLB veteran Shane Spencer?

The above pic was swiped from Brooklyn Vegan, who report the offending graffiti was painted over.


OTL : Royals, Aramark, Serving Mold, Bugs To Long-Suffering KC Fans

Posted in Baseball, Food at 8:55 pm by

Did the Royals learn absolutely nothing from the Mets’ Shake Shake Subterfuge? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO POISON THE OPPOSITION, not your own fans.


Say What You Will About Robert Swift, But He’s Not A Disloyal Roommate

Posted in Basketball, Firearms, The Law at 10:59 pm by

Former Sonics/Thunder C Robert Swift has had a rough go of it since crashing out of the professional ranks ; in the spring of 2013, he was evicted from his Sammamish, WA home, leading Deadspin’s Barry Petchesky to muse, “no one knows where Swift is living now, but it’s safe to assume he’s not in a good place.” Suffice to say, Swift didn’t exactly land on his feet. On Thursday, Seattle’s KOMO.com reports he’s been held on gun charges related to what seems to be a new gig as muscle for a drug dealer nicknamed “Trigg”.

King County prosecutors describe Swift, 28, as a heavily armed heroin addict who admitted to helping his drug dealer-turned-roommate collect a drug debt. That man, 54-year-old Trygve Bjorkstam, is currently facing federal drug and gun charges.

Investigators contend a military-style grenade launcher and sawed-off shotgun were seized from Swift’s bedroom during an Oct. 4 raid on Bjorkstam’s Kirkland home, located 100 yards from an elementary school. Swift was charged Thursday with unlawful possession of a short-barreled shotgun

Accused of amassing an 18-gun arsenal to protect his drug business, Bjorkstam is said to have defended Swift to police, describing him as a “good guy” who helped him try to collect a heroin debt but did not deal drugs himself.

“People have been ripping me off,” Bjorkstam told police, according to charging papers. “Rob and I are trying to put a stop to that.”

Bjorkstam explained that he was “not a big time drug dealer” and explained he started dealing heroin six months before, the Redmond officer said in court papers.

Filling In The Blanks For Expletive-Deprived Newsday Readers

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism at 11:24 am by

Mets general manager Sandy Alderson made a grocery store analogy of his own for superagent Scott Boras.

“Boras has been shopping near the meat section,” Alderson said. “That’s where he gets his [expletive].”

Alderson fired back one day after what has become an annual tradition for Boras, who has been critical of the Mets’ lack of spending in recent years.

Boras first compared the Mets to shoppers in the fruits and nuts aisle of a grocery store before moving them to the frozen foods section.

On Wednesday at the general managers’ meetings, Boras likened the the Mets to the ready foods section, prompting Alderson to share his own theories about the agent’s grocery store habits. – Marc Carig, Newsday, November 13, 2014

“Boras has been shopping near the meat section,” Alderson said. “That’s where he gets his FUCKING MEAT.”

“Boras has been shopping near the meat section,” Alderson said. “That’s where he gets his BAG OF DICKS.”

“Boras has been shopping near the meat section,” Alderson said. “That’s where he gets his SHIT SANDWICHES.”

“Boras has been shopping near the meat section,” Alderson said. “That’s where he gets his MINIMUM DAILY REQUIREMENT OF IRON .”


Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word (Especially When Dan Gilbert Is Forcing You To Say It)

Posted in Basketball, The Marketplace at 11:56 pm by

Whether Cavs owner / Quicken loans CEO Dan Gilbert is a comic sans enthusiast with a trigger temper or a predator lender whose vaunted endeavors in Detroit and Cleveland aren’t entirely altruistic, it cannot be an easy situation for Cleveland reporters who wish to speak freely about Gilbert’s history.  Cleveland Scene’s Vince Grzegorek and Ryan Felton profiled Gilbert on Wednesday and found a businessman fond of cultish sloganeering (“there is no they”, “we eat our own dog food”), abiet one with a serious case of rabbit ears :

Back in early September, Plain Dealer sports columnist Bill Livingston was a guest on Tony Kornheiser’s radio show in Washington D.C. on ESPN 980. In the midst of a wide-ranging conversation on Cleveland sports — Johnny Manziel! LeBron’s coming back! — the topic of Dan Gilbert came up and Livingston didn’t hold back his feelings while touching on Gilbert’s infamous letter and more.

“I could understand playing to his base,” Livingston said. “But this is not the first time that he had released statements like this that weren’t pretty… They were sent out late at night, and draw some connotations from that if you will.”

He continued, leaving the vagaries behind.

“He can have a bit of a hair trigger,” he said. “He can become influenced by all the things that a late night would engender. I think probably alcohol probably played a part of it, just to come out with it. It’s just suppositional on my part, but he’s sent out messages like this before, to Plain Dealer people on the casino issue, that were over the top.”

Livingston was speaking the truth, as three media sources have told Scene over the years, describing similar interactions with Gilbert and worse. The billionaire can unleash torrents of spite when reporters question his decisions, and this time he went straight to Livingston’s bosses at the Plain Dealer with his complaints. They, in turn, would tell Livingston to write a letter of apology to Gilbert, a sanctioned snipping of one of the few who dare call Gilbert to the carpet.

At Long Last, The Entertainment Division Of Cumbucket Media Can Reveal Our 2014 Holiday Spectacular

Posted in 12XU, Austin, Merry Fucking Christmas, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 8:03 pm by

Looks pretty similar to last year’s poster, right? What I can tell you, Peter Saville’s a tough guy to get on the phone these days. Hopefully he won’t be too pissed that I’ve slightly revised his work.

The show is free but once again we’ll be accepting canned food donations for the Capital Area Food Bank Of Texas. If you’d like to support this organization and simply hate the bands, Beerland, 12XU and/or myself, you can make a donation here.


LSU AD : Don’t Judge All Our Fans By The Actions Of A (Vocal, Abusive) Minority

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, Mob Behavior at 11:55 pm by

Via the Times-Picayune’s Randy Rosetta, here’s LSU Athletic Director Joe Alleva’s written apology to the University Of Alabama after Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban was the target of an obscene chant (above) during Saturday’s clash in Baton Rouge :

“I’d like to once again thank our fans for their incredible support of our team in last Saturday’s game with Alabama. The Tigers played with tremendous heart and passion, and our fans played a huge role in inspiring a performance of which we can all be very proud.

“Unfortunately, a small minority of people chose to diminish the image of our great university by engaging in a profane chant directed toward Coach (Nick) Saban. We are deeply sorry that such crude behavior occurred in Tiger Stadium, because that is the antithesis of what we represent at LSU.

“If it occurs in the future, we will make every effort to identify those who choose to act in this manner and make sure they know they are no longer welcome in our stadium. Our hope, however, is that this will never happen again.

“Best wishes to Coach Miles and the Tigers for a strong finish to this season, and we sincerely appreciate the pride they instill in LSU fans each Saturday. And, thanks again to the best fans in the nation for their continued support of the Tigers!”

Francesa : Michael Cuddyer, Thy Name Is Inertia

Posted in Baseball, Sports Radio at 11:32 pm by

Some reasoned observers might well credit the New York Mets for showing some initiative in Monday’s signing of free agent OF Michael Cuddyer. New York’s Numbah One, however, considers the acquisition of Cuddyer evidence the Mets are “building intertia”. And from his tone, he seems to think that’s a good thing.


Smith : Love Is One & Done In Cleveland

Posted in Basketball at 10:21 pm by

Along with considering the merits of the Wizards trading for Kobe Bryant, former Chicago Tribune columnist Sam Smith dropped the following bomb in his Bulls.com entry Monday morning, one that suggests just a few weeks into LeBron James’ homecoming, there’s serious chemistry problems  :

It’s not going to get as much discussion during the season, but one of the biggest issues for the Cavs is that both LeBron James and Kevin Love own opt outs after this season. LeBron James basically cannot afford to go anywhere after his return to Cleveland. But watch out for Love. Indications are he will seriously consider the opt out and has his eyes on a return to Los Angeles, where he attended college and where the Lakers long have had him on their free agent wish list.

While Smith provides no background or attribution for whatever issues Love might have in Cleveland, another report flat out trumpets “tension” between the former UCLA center and first year head coach David Blatt.


From The Desk Of Randy L. : Once Again, I’ve Got A Great Deal For The New York Mets

Posted in Baseball at 9:14 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : from time to time, Bronx baseball executive Randy L. takes to CSTB to address the important issues of the day, sporting and otherwise.  After published reports this week suggested the New York Yankees would force disgraced veteran Alex Rodriguez to take the sort of spring training bus trips players of his stature routinely skip, Randy offered, no, he demanded to have his say -GC)

Greetings Yankee Universe and all who gaze upon it with their usual combination of envy and desperation.  I know it’s been suggested that I hold future Hall Of Famer Alex Rodriguez is something less than high esteem, but if tempers have flared the last few years, that’s simply because both Rodriguez and myself are very competitive persons, hell bent on bringing the greatest city on the planet the World Series championship it’s been cruelly denied for the last half decade.  And I’m not even going to dignify Nick Cafarado’s claim that we’re trying to goad A-Rod into retirement.  BUS TRIPS?  Are you shitting me?  Do you really believe a man of my expertise, an executive with my resources can’t do better than putting a guy on a bus for a few hours?  Do you have any idea how many people I’ve made disappear?  I sincerely hope not…or you’re next!

Just kidding, folks. Cafardo can believe whatever sick gossip he wants, but the real scoop is my bold proposal that could well result in both of New York’s baseball clubs colliding next October.  I know I’ve been rebuffed repeatedly when offering Alex Rodriguez straight up for the unproven, possibly disabled-forever Matt Harvey or the thoroughly unproven Jacob deGrom but a skilled negotiator like me doesn’t know the meaning of “fuck no, are you insane?” (did you teach your son to speak that way to adults, Fred?).

Instead, I’m prepared to pivot and shall reluctantly accept the contractual albatross that is David Wright, provided the Mets throw in Dilson Herrera. This offer expires at midnight tomorrow, or whenever David Samson returns my phone calls (whichever comes first).  GET AT ME.


Waiters : Reports Of My Hating America Are Greatly Exaggerated

Posted in Basketball at 10:16 pm by

On Friday, the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Chris Haynes quoted Cavs SG Dion Waiters claiming he’d blown off the national anthem Wednesday night because of his Muslim faithOn Saturday, Waiters sought ought Haynes to claim there’s been a terrible misunderstanding.

Dion and I had a long conversation on Saturday and we came to the realization that we were thinking two different things.

When I asked if he planned to continue his pregame ritual, I meant did he plan on skipping the national anthem from here on out. He said he was under the impression that I was asking if he would continue his prayer and meditation before games.

Fair enough.

Waiters reiterated that he would be present during the national anthem. He called it a “simple miscommunication” and added that he’s looking forward to moving past this situation.


Smith : My Rep For Doing (Incredibly Stupid Things) Preceeds Me

Posted in Basketball at 10:59 pm by

Carmelo Anthony was 5 for 20 from the field in the Knicks’ 110-99 loss at Brooklyn Friday night, but let’s concentrate on the most important stat of the evening ; JR Smith didn’t punch anyone in the groin.  And even if he did, who are you or I to call it a deliberate act?  Smith tells Newsday’s Al Iannazzone that Tuesday’s televised assault on Glen Rice Jr. Tuesday was no big deal (“was he bleeding or something or what?”) :

“I don’t think it’s something that anybody saw that I was deliberate about it,” Smith said Friday. “They did. Just got to take it for what it is.”

NBA president of basketball operations Rod Thorn told The Associated Press that Smith’s reputation had nothing to do with his suspension.

Smith contends he did nothing wrong, and didn’t know what had happened to Rice Jr., who was on the floor for a while. A foul was called on Rice Jr. on the play.

“I was trying to clear space to get as close to the basket as I could to get the shot off,” Smith said. “It definitely wasn’t anything intentional.

“I seen him on the floor. I was trying to figure out what happened.  The ref didn’t call it. The ref called a foul on him. I didn’t really see what happened.”

Cousin Yuri & A Tale Of Evil Urine

Posted in Baseball, Urine Trouble at 10:43 pm by

The New York Daily News quartet of O’Keefe, Thompson, Red and Vinton have interviewed Carmen Sucrat, spouse of accused drug mule and Alex Rodriguez’ cousin and former gopher Yuri, and you”ll be totally blown away to learn that she hold a rather low opinion of A-Rod. The same is true of most persons with a pulse, however, Rodriguez never wizzed on their house. Probably.

Carmen Sucart said Rodriguez lied when he told Drug Enforcement Administration agents that a lawyer representing her husband sent the disgraced Yankee superstar a shakedown letter in 2012. She said Rodriguez first offered to pay the Sucart family to keep them silent about his drug use and extramarital womanizing.

“I want you to put this in the paper,” she said. “Alex is so poor, the only thing he has is money. He sleeps with his money, he will die with his money.”

In the spring of 2012, Rodriguez came to the Sucart home with two women and three other men and offered $50,000 and an apartment if the Sucarts signed a confidentiality agreement. Carmen Sucart said she rejected the deal and refused to sign.

“He was not angry,” she added, referring to Rodriguez’s demeanor when he came to her home with the confidentiality agreement. “He was arrogant. You know what he did? He peed outside on my wall, next to the pool. He didn’t ask for the bathroom. He go outside and he just pee right there. He came over, took his thing out and went right there.”


A Take On Bama Football More Nunanced Than Say, Harvey Updyke’s

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, Sports Radio, Sports TV at 9:36 pm by

Former Amber Alerts keyboardist Zach Travis (2nd from right above) has become something of a sensation on Paul Finebaum’s SEC Network simulcast, the former heeding the latter’s request for viewer content.   By the usual standards of sports radio/TV fan submissions, the results are pretty special, so much so that it’s fair to wonder when some enterprising programmer might give Travis a show of his own :

Alabama V LSU Finebaum SEC Rant @zmtravis from Zach Travis on Vimeo.

What, There Were No Other Dick Pic Enthusiasts Available To Tutor Kenny Hill?

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron at 12:08 pm by

NFL.com’s Chase Goodbread observes that former pro QB/ESPN analyst Sean Salisbury, “has experience when it comes to conduct issues, and the fallout that can result from them.”  Hey, so does Rae Carruth, but unlike Salisbury, he’s not been hired to mentor suspended Texas A&M QB Kenny Hill, who Salisbury dubs, “a young man that got off the beaten path.” And who’d know more about beaten paths?

“Teach him how to approach the off-the-field stuff better. And to work with him on the field. Fix his mechanics, get him going. This is a critical point for him. I spent time talking to the family (Tuesday) night, hopefully we’ll start this weekend. If not, we’ll start early next week and carry it into the off-season and work his butt off,” Salisbury said. Salisbury added that Aggies offensive coordinator Jake Spavital is aware of the arrangement.

Salisbury touched on his role as a mentor for Hill, as well.

“… Just some things, understanding exactly how people look at you — and it’s unfortunate because that position is looked at different off the field and on. You may want to go have three beers in a bar. Unfortunately three beers to you looks like eight beers to somebody else and they can’t wait to tell people.”


Two Guys Who Know A Ton About Distractions Accuse Disgruntled Jets Fans Of Creating Distractions

Posted in Gridiron at 7:36 pm by

A small plane trailer a banner reading “Fire John Idzik” flew over the Jets Florham Park practice facility Wednesday, a protest that didn’t sit well with the 1-8 team’s head coach or (current) starting QB, as Newsday’s Kimberley A. Martin explains :

The service was requested by a “frustrated” female Jets fan for “less than $1,000,” said Ashley Chalmers, owner of Jersey Shore Aerial Advertising. Chalmers, who piloted the Super Cub himself, told Newsday that the fan did not want to be identified, but the service was done through a subcontract with another company.

Michael Vick called it an “annoying” distraction that was “a bit extreme. You’re trying to put everything into practice . . . and now, everybody’s attention is up in the sky.”

Rex Ryan stressed that fans “have a right” to voice their frustrations, but he also said the banner was “a little over the top. When you look at the big picture, this isn’t about one man falling short. We’re 1-8 collectively.”

“Kick a man while he’s down,” Vick said. “All right, we understand that. People do that. Some people want to see other people suffer.

” . . . That money that was spent on that jet fuel could have been given to some type of charity. Believe me, there are people out here in the world who need it.”


Krzyzewski : I Would Never Tell ISIS Whether Or Not Christian Laettner Was Starting

Posted in Basketball, The Woah, Total Fucking Terror at 10:14 pm by

Man, I really wish the above headline was out of context.