Friday on SNY, Keith Hernandez, who might have chosen to say nothing, and then Ron Darling, chose to tell us what we’ve repeatedly seen and know to be untrue: Yoenis Cespedes is a superb, intelligent base runner.
“Once again, as I’ve said before,” Hernandez said, “he’s the best base runner on this ball club. … He is such a smart player.”
Darling added, “How quick he can throw it into high gear.”
Cespedes, despite abundant slugging and throwing skills, was relegated to expendable by three teams — Oakland, Boston, Detroit — in just two seasons due to his indifferent, minimalist regard for playing team-first, fundamentally winning baseball, including couldn’t-care-less base running.
On the occasions Cespedes manages to beat out an infield hit, Phil, naturally has something else to write about (most likely the temerity of teams on the west coast actually scheduling their games during times in which persons with day jobs can attend them). That Oakland flipped Cespedes for Jon Lester and Detroit did the same for a strong Rookie Of The Year candidate in Michael Fulmer, goes unmentioned. Persons willing to take Mushnick’s grudge at face value might well believe Cespedes is lucky to have a job!
Greetings, fellow lovers of democracy and free expression. I realize we’re living in troubled times and many of you are unsettled when a public figure you’ve invested so much faith in can so casually, so routinely violate your trust. But enough about our disabled third baseman. Instead, I’d like to discuss the controversy swirling around NYC mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner and his lovely wife, Humidor Huma.
I don’t wanna get all puritanical or quasi-religious about this (who do you think I am, Chad Curtis?) but Anthony seems to have made a number of questionable decisions, the likes of which have embarrassed his constituents, his family, his political party, and most importantly, the people who were considering making a sizable financial contribution to his campaign. OK, I’ll get over it, but I’m not sure Weiner will rebound so quickly. Lucky for him, I have all sorts of experience dealing with situations almost as awkward as his, and as such, I’m uniquely qualified to offer guidance. So listen up, Weiner! It’s like you’re getting a free pep talk from Dick Morris, without any of the liabilities!
A successful political campaign is not altogether different from running the world’s most successful professional sports franchise. Both attract their share of obsequious hangers-on, but whether you’re trying to extract yourself from an embarrassing series of correspondence with a woman less than half your age, or you’re simply telling Rudy Guiliani he cannot wear a full Yankee uniform in the dugout, it’s very important to maintain boundaries. When our general manager disgraced the Yankee brand by thinking with his cock rather than his brain, we didn’t allow him to face the cameras in a smug manner, nor was he allowed to parade his long suffering spouse in front of a media gauntlet as a means of seeking sympathy.
Nope, instead with the help of the same Yankee medical staff that so successfully curbed the after-hours self-destructive behaviors of such arrested adolescents as Jason Giambi and David Wells, we prescribed Brian Cashman a powerful daily dose of Depo-Provera. And since he’s been on what I like to call a “PDD” (Performance Destroying Drug), not only has he stopped patrolling the region’s libraries looking for new sex partners, but he’s made some savvy moves to acquire Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay, both of whom I expected to accomplish as much in 2013 as Joba Chamberlain at a Spelling Bee.
(there was also our commissioning a hypnotist who compelled Cashman to imagine Waldman in a catsuit each time he visited the “Casual Encounters” section of a popular website, but I’ll be honest — our legal dept. considers that to be some borderline Manchurian Candidate shit and we might have to just settle for the drugs going forward).
I’m trying to remain positive about this. There’s no reason why Anthony Weiner’s zipper problems need be the end of his time in the public eye, he simply needs to get it under control. David Cone eventually got his shit together, and I’ll bet Weiner can, too. Huma, if you’d like to join me for dinner at NYY Steak, I’m sure we can work out the proper course of medical action for your horny hubby. And what do I want in return? Absolutely nothing, other than knowing I’ve saved yet another relationship, and done what I can to repair a once glittering political career.
A video posted by Widder_mamak (@widder_mamak2002) on
As you’ve probaby heard elsewhere, Niners QB-who-might-not-even-be-the-starter Colin Kaepernick risked national pariah status Friday night when refusing to stand for the playing of “The Star Spangled Banner” before an all-important exhibition game against Green Bay. Recalling similar gestures by Mamoud Abdul-Rauf and Carlos Delgado, Kaepernick declared, “”I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color…there are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” Since the person responsible for the above Instagram message apparently has no hesitation whatsoever about essentially burning a black man in effigy for all the world to see, let’s instead segue to The San Jose Mercury-News’ Marcus Thompson II, who asks,”Kaepernick’s actions left a wake of people who were so offended on behalf of service men and women, whom he allegedly disrespected…what are you doing for those veterans?”
I bet the nearly 39,000 vets who are homeless on a given night, according to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, would tell you to keep your stoic national anthem pose. By the way, 45 percent of those homeless veterans are African-American or Hispanic, disproportionate compared to their representation. Your symbolic gesture isn’t helping the 5.6 percent of veterans who served on active duty at some point since 2001 but can’t find a job now.
Kaepernick used his platform to stand up for a cause, knowing it would invite wrath. That dialogue should include examination of how he went about it and the effectiveness of his choice. It should also include why he felt it was necessary and what prompted him to do it.
let’s see a venn diagram w/ overlap between those insisting Colin Kaepernick no longer has NFL skills and those who’d like to see Tim Tebow get another shot. Or perhaps another for those who’d like Kaepernick to “stick to sports” with those believe Curt Schilling is a victim of “political correctness”.
Also — love the argument that because Kaepernick is no longer a starter let alone an elite player, he’s precluded from voicing a public opinion (or as Mariotti put it, he’s “irrelevant”). Seems like this alleged non-entity has generated a mountain of conversation about race, police brutality and what standing for the anthem may or may not represent. He’s managed to call out both major presidential candidates, something you’re probably not gonna see Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady do anytime soon. And that’s ok, they’re not obliged to speak out. But it seems far more impressive to me that Kaepernick would choose this moment to make a stance precisely because he knows full well his job security is precarious and his deeds would prove (wildly) unpopular with fans, the league and fellow players.
Apologies to Robyn Hitchcock for the above headline. Indeed, if Wobble ditched the bass for operating a train, that’s music’s loss, but let’s do what we can to prevent Keith Levene from driving a bus or piloting an airplane
Farewell to Rudy Van Gelder (above, left), who has shuffled off this mortal coil at the age of 91. Arguably one of the most important recording engineers in music history, Van Gelder not only had the satisfaction of knowing he helmed sessions that changed the course of jazz, but he also managed to outlive Dick Urine.
England’s Football Association has asked Burnley striker Andre Gray to offer some explanation regarding offensive tweets issued from his account. Prior to a hearing, Gray’s issued an apology, as the Guardian’s Louise Taylor reports :
One tweet from the 25-year-old forward, then playing for non-league Hinckley Town, appeared to condone the killing of gay people but Gray has since apologised, claiming he is now a different person to the one who posted the messages four years ago.
“Thankfully I am not the guy I was back then,” he said in a statement but it remains to be seen whether the FA will regard the combination of apology and suggestion he is a changed man as mitigating factors in this case. In June Chris Stokes, the Coventry defender, received a one-match FA ban for making a homophobic comment on Twitter. Stokes used the term “faggots” on 2 May during Chelsea’s Premier League match with Tottenham, before later removing it and apologising. He subsequently admitted breaching FA rules relating to the use of social media and, in addition to the ban, was ordered to attend an FA education course, fined £1,000 and warned as to his future conduct.
Gray’s posts re-emerged last Saturday and hit the headlines as he scored against Liverpool to help give Burnley a 2-0 win at Turf Moor. One tweet read: “Is it me or are there gays everywhere? #Burn #Die #Makesmesick.”
Fin Balor’s rapid ascent to the top of the WWE main roster took a detour this past Monday when he was diagnosed with a serious shoulder injury suffered the previous evening at the hands of Seth Rollins at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center. Noting Rollins’ alarming penchant for putting headliner colleagues on the shelf for extended periods (John Cena), or in the case of Sting, forever, Bret Hart tells Wrestlezone’s Nick Hausman, “if you’re a professional wrestler and you keep hurting opponents and or yourself, clearly you’re doing it wrong.”
I wrestled a very realistic and physical style and not once in 23 yrs did I ever hurt one opponent ever. Seth Rollins needs to improve his technique and become the safest wrestler in the business. I have great respect for Seth. I believe he’ll improve and hopefully stop hurting the talent before someone gets killed. Wrestlers have to trust one another. If a wrestler holds the life of another wrestler in his hands for the sake of his family, wife or children you plain and simply cannot drop it!
I saw this coming, if anything WWE producers are negligent for not speaking up about it to him already, instead they’re probably gushing with joy, slapping him on the back telling him “great job!” Bill Goldberg was similar. When I think of Samoa Joe nearly killing Tyson Kidd, then see him continuing to use that deadly finish of his, I just shake my head. It’s not real, it’s only supposed to look real, wrestlers are not crash test dummies!
All of those agents in WWE, I don’t know who they are that are schooling these guys and telling them what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong. They should all be chastised for not speaking up too. Including Vince. Including Triple H. What he did was totally wrong. Totally unprofessional. It’s true and it’s not a personal attack. It just means, “Be more careful.” You can’t be hurting guys like that all the time.
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