In a move designed to cheer sentimentalists and yack-radio screamers alike, the New England Patriots have signed 42 year old Doug Flutie to a one-year deal to serve as their insurance policy in case Tom Brady contracts a deadly STD.
Said deal wipes out any hopes of the NY Giants to reunite Flutie with General Tom Coughlin, his former offensive coordinator / QB coach during the former’s salad days at BC. When Bill Belichick is the happy personality by comparison, you know you’ve got problems.
Framingham, MA city planners immediately announced that the shopping mall access road Flutie Pass would henceforth be known as “Flutie Clipboard”.
Rumors that the Celtics plan to active Marvin Barnes in time for Game 4 of their first round playoff series with the Pacers, are unfounded.