04.19.13

Pay Plenty Of Attention To The Troll Behind The Curtain : UniWatch’s Lukas Confronts A Tireless Tormentor

Posted in Blogged Down at 3:38 pm by

Once upon a time, when CSTB had more then 2 posts a day and actually generated semblance of traffic, I had to deal with a handful abusive comments section fixtures, or trolls are they’ve more commonly known. Few would hang around for more than a few weeks, either because I wasn’t providing sufficient motivation or perhaps Jack In The Box issued a policy against taking your laptop to work. Either way, I thought I’d contended with my share of internet kooks, but none of ‘em compare to serial UniWatch-baiter Joe “Big Cock” Johnson, who over the the last 6 years has tortured (and occasionally entertained) UW publisher Paul Lukas with tales of his sexual exploits (“what did y’all do during the presidential debate last night? I reamed a bitch’s fuckhole and filled her with my seed”) and such bold stances as “stirrups ‘are for fags’”.

Most persons in Lukas’ position would’ve either ignored their pseudonymous stalker or gone to the other end of the spectrum and taken out a court order.  To Paul’s credit, he’s instead interviewed Mr. Big Cock, a 30 year financial analyst from St. Louis who professes, “I love Uni Watch. It’s a must-read every morning for me. And I have no ill will toward you at all.”

UW: what led you to do it in the first place? Like, why post abusive, trolling commentary? What was the motivation?

JJ: Really just to amuse myself. I still have a very sophomoric, immature sense of humor. I’ve always found cuss words to be funny. I find it particularly amusing when there’s a lot of shock value. Like, if you’re in front of a bunch of old people, or people from another generation, and you say something shocking, I find that amusing. And that’s a character flaw, I’m sure. But nevertheless, it was mostly about shocking people, mostly with vulgarities. When people see “cunt” or “twat” or something like that, those go beyond the typical “fuck” or “shit.”

UW: Had you ever done anything like that before, acting as a troll on a web site?

JJ: Yeah, absolutely. I used to do it a lot. I don’t so much anymore. Uni Watch is really the end of it, the last one…

UW: Really? I’ve been, like, your last hurrah, your farewell tour?

JJ: Well, it’s sort of my last release. I’m 30, I’m married, I’ve grown up — some. I still have that same sense of humor, but I don’t indulge it as often. There was a point in time when I would troll web sites. Like there’s this site, ApartmentRatings.com, and I would review apartments by saying things so outlandish, so over the top, that nobody would ever believe it. I wasn’t trying to stop anyone from living in a particular apartment, but it was just fun to say, “There’s a prostitution operation being run out of this apartment” or whatever, and I took great amusement in going back and seeing if someone had responded to it. So yeah, I’ve done it, but I’ve had to curtail it somewhat as I’ve become a quote-unquote adult.

3 Responses to “Pay Plenty Of Attention To The Troll Behind The Curtain : UniWatch’s Lukas Confronts A Tireless Tormentor”

  1. WeWanttheFunk says:

    Mr. Johnson’s contributions to AppartmentRatings.com sound similar in intention to the Yelp contributions of the infamous Randy L…

  2. GC says:

    I strongly disagree. As a consumer badly in need of helpful, frank advice, I find Randy L’s reviews to be USEFUL, FUNNY and COOL, in that order.

  3. stan says:

    for those who want to see how magnificently profane and entertaining an anonymouse internet presence can be, please scour the google usenet archives for restaurant reviews from ‘dimitri the greek stud’ on tor.eats

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