As an alleged adult, I’m a little embarrassed to report my Facebook fake friends pile is a rogue’s gallery including but not limited to Newsday’s Neil Best, former PiL drummer Martin Atkins and someone pretending to be Bernie Madoff. Prior to dealing with some allegedly adult issues of his own, “The Bad Guys Won” author Jeff Pearlman contemplated the occasional absurdity of the social networking scene wars.
Two weeks ago I received a friend request from Manute Bol. I have no idea how or why, but when Manute Bol asks to be friends, you say yes. Then, a couple of days back, I became pals with the one, the only”Ellis Valentine. Man, when I was a kid I loved Ellis Valentine. But not nearly as much as Christian Okoye, also a friend. For those who might not remember, Okoye was œThe Nigerian Nightmare at Azusa Pacific. And if one has a chance to team up with the Nigerian Nightmare, he takes it.
But that™s not all. Thanks to Facebook, I™m friends with Robert Person and Junior Spivey; C.J. Nitkowski and Adam Hyzdu; Brian Johnson and Joe Oliver. Conrad Dobler can™t kick me in the groin via computer, but we can IM about popcorn and long walks on the beach. Curt Schilling probably doesn™t remember me (even after, oh, a dozen interviews), but I consider us to be the closest of chums.