11.26.06

Plaschke On Jarrett’s Acrobatics

Posted in Gridiron, Sports Journalism at 10:55 am by

In his recent interview at Sports Media Guide, the Boston Globe’s Bob Ryan described bloggers cutting and pasting original material the use of one sentence paragraphs as his “pet peeve”, calling the practice, “an easy device.”

So with that in mind, here’s some snippets from Bill Plaschke of the LA Times leaning heavily on the carriage return, in homage to USC’s Dwayne Jarrett.

Two months ago, the idea that USC could play in the national championship game was as wild as a John David Booty pass to Dwayne Jarrett that …

Wait! He caught it!

One month ago, the notion that USC could be one of the nation’s top two teams was as off-target as a Booty pass to Jarrett that …

Whoa! He caught another one!

Throughout this strangest of autumns, USC’s chances of winning a national title remained as remote as the idea that the Trojans could beat Notre Dame on Saturday night with Jarrett catching a pass with one hand, catching another pass on one toe, and catching a touchdown pass after crushing a safety.

Which he did, and did, and did.

Thus whittling weeks of convoluted paragraphs into a single sentence:

If the Trojans beat UCLA next week, they will deserve to play Ohio State for the national title, because they just crushed Notre Dame.

Indeed, they did.

However, Michigan crushed Notre Dame earlier in the season.

Just as convincingly.

Apparently, USC’s one loss to unranked Oregon State isn’t nearly as damning in Plaschke’s eyes as Michigan’s close call visiting the number one team in the land.

There’s no way we can work a negative reference to Paul De Podesta into this entry?

3 Responses to “Plaschke On Jarrett’s Acrobatics”

  1. dan says:

    Finally, a Bill Plaschke column that is as ineloquent and badly-spoken as his myriad appearances on “Around The Horn.”

    That guy was not made for TV. Nor, as it seems, for print journalism.

  2. Mike says:

    “Let’s hope those BCS computer nerds prove smarter than Paul DePodesta and jump the clearly superior USC over Michigan in this week’s rankings.”

    Or is that a stretch?

  3. Rog says:

    All of your bitching and whining would be just a pathetic memory if they had a playoff system involving the top four teams.

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