The Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme Eating Motherfucker (above) lays down the law to his mouth-breathing acoloytes and those who wish to scarf the spicy sauce. Said edict should in no way be confused with this sort of thing.
You no longer have to ask to be approved for comments. That is not to say that the approval-based system no longer exists. Far from it, in fact: There’s now a stricter system in place. It’s just that, as you might have noticed, you can go ahead and type in comments on stories without having been explicitly sent an invite. What happens to these comments? They go into a little queue, and at the end of the day, we dig through this queue and see which commenters appear to have something to contribute to the Deadspin experience. If you’re approved — and we’re going to be rather stingy about this — your comments will appear on the site, and you’ll be a member of the gang. So if your comment shows, congrats: You’re in. If your comment doesn’t make it, it doesn’t mean you’re permanently out of the loop. You just need to keep trying. As we have established, you gotta raise your game around here.