04.28.08

Rockin’ Steady Invades Donnie Walsh’s Brain

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down at 9:47 pm by

While New York and Chicago are seemingly engaged in a tug-of-war for the coaching services of Mark Jackson, Rockin’ Steady has unveiled “The Anthony Bonner Project”, a ten point plan for repairing the brutally damaged Knicks . Here’s a few of the highlights :

Under no circumstances will we bid against ourselves for a player, particularly a player already on the payroll. When Allan Houston was up for free agency some years ago, we more than doubled the next highest offer he had gotten (from the Chicago Bulls). There was no need to do this, considering that we were looking at a one-dimensional player”albeit a very good one”who would have gladly stayed in New York with a lower offer that still would have been the best offer on the table. This signing, more than any other, put us in a situation in which it became impossible to sign other free agents, and it also crushed the morale of our loyal fanbase when Allan™s health deteriorated. We have to be, and from now on will be, a team willing to lose a good player instead of making a bad deal. Just as fans of the New York Mets appreciate their teams™ savvy in not overpaying for the now-terrible Barry Zito, so, too, do we trust that our fans are intelligent enough to recognize the wisdom in these decisions.

We will, at this point, keep an evolving list of those free agents who are actually worth the NBA maximum salary. That list will number no more than 15 players. We will never offer the maximum salary to a player not on this list. Period. Not as a free agent, not as a retained member of the Knicks. Players who disagree with us as to their worth are free to take offers with other teams, assuming they can find an organization whose sense of their worth is more in alignment with theirs.

We will not overvalue or under-evaluate a talent “ player, coach or otherwise “ for reasons of regional favor. We will no longer be an organization that leaps to get Stephen Marbury, in part, because he is a Brooklyn guy whose homecoming would be a nice story. We recognize that fans of the New York Knicks desire not a homegrown product but a winning product.

We will bring back the player intro music from the mid 1990s. We are sorry for the shit we make you sit through now.

We will eliminate the cheer squad we™ve started sending around the Garden at home games, spurring fans to cheer regardless of the dreck on the court. We are sorry for making you sit through their shit, too. If we put a good product on the court, the fans will take care of themselves.

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