09.12.07

Serby : Belichick = Tricky Dick

Posted in Gridiron at 7:58 am by

As the NFL mulls disciplinary action against New England for Sunday’s videotape hijinx, an outraged Steve Serby of the New York Post submits the Hooded Casanova’s plaque in Canton should someday read, “some considered him the Vince Lombardi of his era. Others considered him the Richard Nixon of his era.

Question: What is the proper punishment?

Allow me to play NFL Commissioner for a day.

I say the impending loss of a high draft choice, another pick and a prohibitive club fine doesn™t go far enough.

I would explore several options:

Play the game over. The Patriots didn™t beat the Jets fair and square. In other words, the Jets wuz robbed. This strikes at the integrity of the games.

The bye week for the Pats and Jets falls on Nov. 11. The Giants host the Cowboys that day. So I would schedule Jets-Pats for Nov. 10 – six days after Pats-Colts in Indianapolis. The loss of their bye week, however, would be blatantly unfair to the Jets, and undoubtedly not tolerated by the union.

* Let Belichick wrestle Eric Mangini in a winner-take all in the Weeb Ewbank Hall parking lot, but check carefully under Belichick™s hoodie before the start.

* Switch Jets-Patriots in New England Dec. 16 from Foxboro to Giants Stadium. You heard me right. A ninth home game for the Jets, and a loss of revenue for the Pats (the precedent is there; Katrina moved Saints-Giants to Giants Stadium, remember?)

We™re in luck here because the Giants host the Redskins at 8:15 that night. A 1 p.m. start would give the grounds crew time to tidy up the field as best it can. If that™s not feasible, schedule the game for Dec. 15.

* If the Patriots refuse, they forfeit the game.

I’m not sure Mr. Loser is going nearly far enough. Why not have the league hand over New England’s 3 Super Bowl trophies, the negoiating rights to Bridget Moynihan’s kid and a big bag of Fred Smerlas’ pubic hair while we’re at it?

13 Responses to “Serby : Belichick = Tricky Dick”

  1. hot shit college student says:

    Mark Buehrle has smelled something fishy for years.

    It will be interesting to see how the NFL handles bad shit that actually has something to do with football.

  2. pathetic iggles fan says:

    Handing over the Super Bowl XXXIX trophy to the iggles seems like a good idea. Our D had NE bottled up in the first half, only to be undone in the second half. Half-time adjustments? Sure, NE stole Philly’s D play calls and fed them to Brady.

    I’m sure Pgh, Oakland, Indy, and Carolina fans can make similar arguments.

  3. Rog says:

    Why don’t these borderline illiterate losers change up the signs after every game like most baseball teams? Stealing signs isn’t cheating any more than stealing bases. It’s funny that NFL fans don’t get up in arms over their players using HGH, steroids, shooting people, attempting to shoot people…but god forbid you steal signs. Whatevs.

  4. kt says:

    yeah, that videotape was the reason randy moss outran 3 jets defensive backs on a 60 yard crossing pattern.

  5. yo says:

    no it wasnt,they confiscated the tape in the 1st quarter

  6. Mark Swiderski says:

    I have to admit, this makes me happy, just because the stories about the “class”, “character” and “genius” of the Patriots organization over the last decade has been nauseating.

    That said, some of the calls for significant sanctions are a bit much. Ban them from the playoffs? Yeah, that would be great for the league.

    Also, Peter King’s silence on the issue up to this point has been hilariously defeaning.

  7. matt says:

    i’m with you, mark. i just wish more of the slop would fall on brady, so people would question his ability to read a defense like none other, make the right throw at the right time, and whatever other cliched shit thats sputtered about him irrelevant. he’s at least as smug as belichick, if not more so.

  8. kt says:

    matt, sounds like you have some issues to work through. what did brady do to you?

  9. matt says:

    i hate him, ms. tunstall, i just do.

  10. Rog says:

    Winning always creates jealousy. That’s just the way it is. I hated Michael Jordan until the day he retired (the second time) and then I had to admit how much he brought to the league. And maybe one day I’ll admit that Derek Cheater wasn’t so bad after all.

  11. kt says:

    rog, i can understand being bored to death/fed up with media oversaturation of a successful team. in the ’90s there got to be a period of time when i’d mute the tv when the weekly cowboys story came on the tube but i didn’t fault emmitt smith or troy aikman for lazy/fauning “journalists”. that’s why i don’t get the personal hatred against brady or belichik.

    i hope matt finds an outlet for his rage before the end of january otherwise it could get ugly when the pats win another super bowl.

  12. matt says:

    i think i just found my outlet in the commentating in the wvu vs. maryland game on espn right now. it’s hate crime talk/a slap fight between flutie, fowler, and whatever other schmoe’s in the both right now. it’s like it vaporized the thought of hoodie-clad adulterers in surburban massachusetts.

  13. matt says:

    suburban…sur.

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