SLC Dunk’s Collection of Great White Dopes

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down at 2:50 pm by

Sure, you recognize the names Mark Eaton and Greg Ostertag. But what of Rusty LaRue, Ben Handlogten, Adam Keefe and Pace Mannion?  Basketball and race relations experts alike owe a debt of gratitude to SLC Dunk‘s Kris247 and his carefully researched treatise, “The Utah Jazz : A Stiff White Retrospective” :

Greg Foster
Admit it, you were searching every Fanzz store in Salt Lake looking for a Foster jersey after that clutch three pointer in the 1996-97 NBA Finals. But, his numbers tell the real story: 3.8 points, 2.5 rebounds, and 0.3 blocks per game, while averaging 13 minutes a game over four season. You have to love the dude’s intensity though, he managed to infuriate Shaq after making a throat slashing motion towards the Lakers’ bench after a big dunk. Unfortunately for Foster, his total lack of basketball IQ was responsible for the Jazz letting him walk after the 1999 season.

The SF Chronicle’s Scott Ostler
is smart enough to realize there’s one sure-fire way to have a mailbag as entertaining as Dave D’Alessandro’s —- write the questions yourself.

Q: Doc, Chris Mullin, the Warriors’ executive vice president, talked Wednesday about the team’s “vision,” which I assume means its master plan. What is that vision?

A: What the Warriors are doing is shuffling the deck so furiously that it will be November before anyone notices Baron Davis is no longer around. It’s an old casino trick. Some dealers actually toss the deck into the ceiling fan. Barring a monumental run of good luck, there’s no way the Warriors have covered the loss of Davis.

Q: So you’re saying the Warriors made a mistake by not offering Davis what the Clippers gave him?

A: Lord, no. There is a 1 percent chance that at the end of Davis’ five-year deal with the Clippers both sides will say, “Gee, that worked out well!”

One Response to “SLC Dunk’s Collection of Great White Dopes”

  1. Rog says:

    My favorite tandem of white NBA players was Grant Gondrezick and Jeff Hornacek for the 1986-87 Phoenix Suns. Neither had a big year (and Gondrezick had one fucked up career) but it was fun to hear Chick Hearn repeatedly spit out “Gondrezick passes it to Hornacek”. Fun times.

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