05.27.06

Somebody Buy This Dipshit A Fodor’s Travel Guide

Posted in Blogged Down, Football at 5:17 pm by

Once again, as does he virtually every Satuday afternoon, the Human Whoopie Cushion’s understudy demonstrates that “cosmopolitan” isn’t the first word that comes to mind when describing his soccer coverage.

Chelsea agrees with Kalou.

It’s not a done deal yet, but Chelsea’s expected to sign Salomon Kalou to a four- or five-year deal this week. He was formerly with the Dutch team, Feyenrood, but wanted to move on to bigger and better things. I don’t know how it gets any better than being a professional athlete anywhere in the vicinity of Amsterdam, but hey, whatever makes him happy.

First of all, the Dutch club in question is called Feyenoord. And I think I can guess how it might get a little better than being a professional athlete based in South Rotterdam ; being a highly paid professional athlete in the not-altogether-unhappening vicinity of London, the Borough of Chelsea in particular.

Aside from the extra curricular action on offer, I’d even hazard a wild guess that Chelsea are a better bet to win a domestic or European title next season than Feyenoord.

There’s also the not-so-small matter of Feyenoord blasting Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” over De Kuip’s tannoy each time they score. That alone might account for Kalou’s eagerness to move.

Leave a Reply