03.31.10

Special One-Hating Telegraph Scribe Channels His Inner Billy Milano

Posted in Football, Sports TV at 2:54 pm by

Inter and CSKA Moscow are currently scoreless at halftime of their Champions League quarter-final, said encounter taking place a day after the hosts’ manager, Jose Mourinho (above) —in the midst of a feud with the Italian mediahinted he’d like to return to England.  “Over the years, England has taken to her heart lots of foreigners with funny voices,” sneers The Telegraph’s Mike Norrish. “Rolf Harris, Yuri Geller, Lloyd Grossman, Prince Phillip, and, of late, Aleksandr (Compare The) Meerkat…but the most popular member of our foreign legion, the most adored and admired “ the most special “ is currently being forced to live in exile.”

Sky Sports last night interrupted their half-time analysis of Manchester United™s fascinating Champions League quarter-final with Bayern Munich to bring us an exclusive interview with Jose Mourinho. œI don™t like Italian football, and they don™t like me, said Mourinho, in his funny foreign voice. œSimple.

Richard Keys, the embodiment of our national crush on Mourinho, beamed with excitement at this quote, visibly stirred by the prospect of our hero returning ˜home™. œWe love him, agreed Jamie Redknapp, who, when he™s not doing his studio thing, presents Sky 1™s Search For A Star, the channel™s attempt to turn Mourinho into Simon Cowell. It™s as good as it sounds.

Clearly, neither Jamie nor Richard thought there was anything wrong in devoting so much of their precious half-time analysis slot to a routine Mourinho interview (Indeed, given their excitement, it was a surprise they didn™t can the second half and play endless loops of Mourinho pouting œSimple, with Pomp and Circumstance playing in the background).

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