06.02.14

The Couch Slouch Subtly Suggests Tampa’s A Lousy Place To Live

Posted in Baseball at 4:25 pm by

That Tampa’s Rays typically play to sparse crowds is hardly news and Tropicana Field is rarely mentioned in any short lists of baseball’s most beloved venues.  So why then, is it necessary for the Washington Post’s Norman Chad (above) to compile a list of things to do in Tampa (besides, y’know, make a music video with excellent production values)?

1. Applebee’s: One app, two entrees for $20.

2. Spit off the top of the Sulphur Springs Water Tower.

3. Make your own apricot chutney.

4. Hang out on your front stoop quietly until you feel compelled to utilize the Sunshine State’s fabulous Stand Your Ground statute.

5. Go to Whole Foods, and for the cost of a Rays upper-box ticket, buy a one-pound wedge of Humboldt Fog cheese.

6. Put a message in a bottle into Tampa Bay, then drive down to see if it makes it to the Florida Keys.

7. Just watch the Rays on TV from home; better view than Tropicana Field, nicer bathrooms.

Leave a Reply