OK, not everyone was thoroughly impressed with Barcelona’s 2-0 defeat of Manchester United in the Champions League final yesterday. In other parts of the globe, however, “there couldn’t have been more drool emanating from the Stadio Olimpico if a giant roast pig, oozing gelatinous goodness, was spit-roasted under their noses,” observed the Guardian’s Sean Ingle and Rob Bagchi.
“Barcelona have shown that perfection is possible,” insisted AS editor Alfredo RelaÃ±o. “There is no antidote to their exquisite football. [They have] demonstrated their worldly and intergalactic superiority!” Meanwhile JosÃ© SÃ¡mano hailed AndrÃ©s Iniesta as “sublime, elegant, sensible, and incisive, a genius with an air of Peter Pan about him – man of the match with Xavi. Their partnership was celestial, an exquisite pleasure.” Mmm, try telling Anderson that.
Lord Ferg was magnificently magnamious in defeat – although his claim that “the first goal was the killer” suggests his renowned tactical skills consisted solely of reading Guus Hiddink’s Bumper Book of Defensive Football. But as he looks to rebuild his side, Ferg may have to make do with Him, who “doesn’t know” if He will be at Old Trafford next season. El Mundo Deportivo, however, reckons He “is the perfect player for Real Madrid – arrogant the day before the game, a bad loser, provocative and posing during it. This guy smells of Madrid already.” But unless Florentino PÃ©rez coughs up £70m, He will still be sporting L’eau D’Old Trafford next season.