08.10.10

The Greatest Non-Wrestling Heel Of Modern Times Reclaims His Crown

Posted in Video Games at 3:25 pm by

Who amongst us, upon learning of Hollywood’s plans for a dramatic adaptation of the 2007 documentary, “The King Of Kong : A Fistful Of Quarters”, wondered a) why bother, and/or b) how could you possibly improved on the real Billy Mitchell (above)?  The Barry Bonds of video gaming added to his considerable legend over the weekend when he once again laid claim to the world Donkey Kong record….and he didn’t stop there, as the following press release from blippity-blip governing body Twin Galaxies describes.

At 2pm today, Billy Mitchell revealed back-to-back verified world records, reclaiming his coveted Donkey Kong (DK) champion status and setting a new Donkey Kong Jr. (DK Jr.) record to boot.

œI can™t think of a better time and place than at the eve of the IVGHOF to have this happen, says Mitchell, explaining: œI really have to give a nod to my son who prodded me to do something special for this historic event and Boomers-Grand Prix for graciously giving me the place to set my records.

The scores – 1,062,800 on DK and 1,270,900 on DK Jr. “ were verified live at Boomers-Grand Prix Arcade in Florida by veteran Twin Galaxies referees Todd Rogers and MorningDove Mahoney. Though his goal was to simply tackle DK alone over one weekend, Mitchell notes that he simply couldn™t turn down the opportunity to carry on his winning streak to DK Jr. when he found himself with free time to spare. œI remember a lot of celebration; hugs, kisses and a lot of hooting and hollering. Once that died down, stood there looking at Donkey Kong Jr. and thought ˜there™s one more thing I have to take care of™.

3 Responses to “The Greatest Non-Wrestling Heel Of Modern Times Reclaims His Crown”

  1. Rog says:

    I’m trying to think of who could play Billy Mitchell, but I’m drawing a blank.

  2. Teddy Roosevelt says:

    You seen like a big enough douche Rog, do you look anything like him?

  3. Rog says:

    Crawl back up your mother’s asshole, Teddy.

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