06.22.08

The Heaven’s Gate Of Music Videos

Posted in Free Expression, Rock Und Roll at 2:43 pm by

Just to be perfectly clear, I’m not referring to Michael Cimino’s 1980 cinematic bomb, but rather, Marshall Applewhite’s suicide cult.

I’ve watched the above video three or four times and I think I’ve finally figured out the message. Parr’s Red, White and Blue guitar symbolizes freedom and the American Dream.  There is of course, no bigger American dream than tooling around town in a convertible, prior to adjourning to a hotel room with three ladies (who are also interpretive dancers) who cannot wait to fondle one’s mullet.

The next time someone wishes out loud MTV was still showing music videos, just think of what future generations are being spared.  If Billy Squire could sue the director of “Rock Me Tonight” for making him look effeminate, surely there’s a class action windfall awaiting each and every person who has viewed the above aesthetic atrocity.

4 Responses to “The Heaven’s Gate Of Music Videos”

  1. Dave says:

    Outside of questionable hairstyle choices, why is “Dickman and Throbbin” one of the related videos?

  2. GC says:

    you’re sure that’s not just my personal viewing history?

  3. Brushback says:

    Woah– is that Lisa Rinna?

  4. Timothy Cook says:

    Whoa, CSTB, aren’t you being a little unkind to the “Naughty Naughty” clip? While you touched on the “everyman” theme of the video, couldn’t the shots of Parr driving around the Inner Sunset and Mission Districts reveal the profound, suppressed longings of a workaday Bay Area auto mechanic: to drive around and also bed the interpretive dancers? Also, the synthetic guitar scrape right before the (synth?) solo was fairly emblematic of the process used to create the music of the era, giving historians something to compare their various cultural analysis against.

    As far as Heaven’s Gate goes, it wasn’t so bad after the two hour mark, about the point Kristofferson’s character finally shack’d up w/ the always underrated Isabelle Huppert. Now that I think about it, the battle scene at the end with all the cannons firing in slo-mo do seem a little lame. With apologies to Linklater’s It’s Impossible to Learn to Plow by Reading Books, Heaven’s Gate still might be the best film ever shot in Montana. Extra-points for bankrupting the movie studio.

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