02.13.11

The Sanctity Of Marriage Suffers Another Blow In The Modern Age

Posted in Baseball, History's Great Hook-Ups at 4:59 pm by

(Applegate, mindful that her new spouse refuses to eat soup)

Enough with the bigots who’d stop same sex partners from getting hitched — what do these backwards-thinkers have to say about YES/ESPN NY mouthpiece Michael Kay getting married yesterday to what appears to be a space alien of some sort? While there’s no hard evidence in place WPIX anchor gal Jodi Applegate is anything other than a living, breathing human being, I think she’s an outer space plant — or a pod person, if you will. What sane, earthly person of either gender would willingly marry Michael Kay for fuck’s sake? The New York Post’s Matthew Abrahams and Ginger Adams Otis provide details from yesterday’s wedding in NYC, but they’re really saying, “SEE YA!” to the future of the human race.

Baseball bigs, including Yanks manager Joe Girardi and team co-owner Hal Steinbrenner rubbed elbows with TV personalities such as NBC anchor Brian Williams and Applegate’s WPIX/Channel 11 colleagues Kaity Tong and weatherman Mr. G.

And actor Danny Aiello, Kay’s uncle, was on hand to fete the happy couple as were former Yanks and Kay’s YES-network colleagues Al Leiter, David Cone and John Flaherty.

The couple had their first dance to Michael Buble’s “Haven’t Met You Yet.”

The posh affair was fit for a home-run king, complete with a giant seafood bar with six-foot mermaid ice sculptures. Guests feasted on filet mignon and branzino, an attendee told The Post.

Former Yankee centerfielder and accomplished classical guitarist Bernie Williams jammed with the wedding band.

The telegenic pair — sitting in thrones on a red velvet stage during the reception — met a few years ago while attending the local Emmy awards.

5 Responses to “The Sanctity Of Marriage Suffers Another Blow In The Modern Age”

  1. john says:

    Another disgusting display of the Yankees raiding Pittsburgh for talent.

  2. David Roth says:

    “Fell In Love (At The Local Emmys)” is an unreleased B-side of mine.

  3. Rog says:

    Woah, the space alien crack was a bit mean, especially since I’ve had a thing for Mrs. Kay for a while. She does it for me big time, dood.

    I found out last week that she was engaged to Michael Kay and almost did a spit take right onto the computer screen. He SO does not deserve her. I do not wish them happiness.

  4. Rog says:

    Oh, and getting Giuliani to perform the ceremony was a nice touch. Kay’s douche quotient had been slipping of late but now it’s right back up there.

  5. GC says:

    sorry, Rog. Hey, some space aliens are very attractive. That evil leader gal on “V” for instance (i’ve not actually watched the show, so if she turns into an anaconda later in the series, I suppose I take it back)

    A sequel to “She’s Out Of Your League” starring Michael Kay amongst an entirely early 20-something cast would make for a great SNL skit. On paper, anyway.

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