The Special One’s Mark Stewart Tribute : You Are All (Intellectual) Prostitutes

Posted in Football at 2:54 pm by

The disembodied, Don Pardo-esque voices that handle narration duties for Gol TV are in fine form today, calling the action from Juventus’s Coppa Italia Semi-Final visit to Lazio.   The winner of said match has a date with the winner of Wednesday’s tie between Sampordia and Internazionale, though it’s unlikely such an encounter will cause as much of a stir on the rhetorical richter scale as the Nerazzurri’s 3-3 draw with Roma Sunday night.

Mario Balotelli was awarded what some Roma supporters thought to be a dubious penalty. The shy, retiring Inter manager Jose Mourinho, ie. God’s Gift To Sports Journalism, will hear none of it, however. From Tuesday’s Guardian :

“There has been the greatest amount of intellectual manipulation,” Mourinho claimed. “There was a concerted, organised effort to manipulate public opinion. It was fantastic work but it is unrelated to my world “ I work in football.

“I don’t like intellectual prostitution, I like honesty,” he continued. “Over the last few days nobody has mentioned that Roma have great players but will end the season without a title. Nobody has mentioned that Milan have 11 fewer points than us and will end the season without a title. Nobody has spoken about Juventus, who have won so many points thanks to refereeing mistakes. We have only won one game thanks to a mistake and that was the Siena match.

“Claudio Ranieri [Juve's manager] said he is shoulder to shoulder with Luciano Spalletti? Well, I will side with all the coaches who have fallen foul against Juventus “ Cesare Prandelli, Pasquale Marino, Gigi Del Neri.

“Every time I turn on the TV I see Spalletti, who is everyone’s friend, but I don’t like prime-time television. I don’t know whether these people pay to be interviewed. I know that they offer me money for interviews and I refuse because I don’t manipulate reality.”

3 Responses to “The Special One’s Mark Stewart Tribute : You Are All (Intellectual) Prostitutes”

  1. James says:

    well, this is weird, because I read the site constantly, but haven’t felt compelled to comment. But basically, I have been learning italian with my girlfriend, and have been reading the football coverage in the gazzetta dello sport to try to get better, and they had three or four articles about this, all of which were hilarious. So I was trying to explain why this all was funny–everything mou says is quotable–but for some reason the fact that ‘intellectual prostitution’ was used in the context of a referee’s decision in football did not seem as absurd to her as it does to me. Anyway, the point is that I have been laughing about this all day so I was really happy to see a post about it here. God I hope he stays in Italy; coverage is more fun there (Fiver excepted).

  2. Ricardo Rio says:

    I am guessing, with great pride, that I am the only one of platitude of obnoxiously intellectuals readers getting the Mark Stewart and the Mafia reference. Go Pop Group. Go Keith LeBlanc (we have a Major Malfunction, indeed). Win, win, win for the home team! And I know jack about “soocker”. except when I am in Brazil in get all the local lovely garotas all lubed up-I luv benefiting from that. And that is good enough for me. Sports and obscure musical references have a site to lap at. All is good with Western Society. Argh worthy music and merit based sporting (American football is a real sport-soocker is a bunch of poofters faking death, right Mr. Jim Rome???) are all we have after all, right??? BTW, I am listening to Blast First’s Head of David as I pen this ludicrous missive. PS: Do not read my blog.

  3. Ricardo Rio says:

    Hey man. How can I edit my original posting? I made a couple of typos and grammatical errors (and then negligently pressed that silly “submit comments” tab and I am a reformed teacher so I am so embarrassed. I pride myself on my good “diction”. Crikey. Oh. Go Shock Headed Peters tamben.

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