04.25.05

There Goes The Neighborhood

Posted in Sports Journalism at 1:31 pm by

A week after comparing Stephen A. Smith to Eddie Murphy’s character in “Trading Places”, the Austin American-Statesman’s Michael Corcoran continues to show great cultural sensitivity with his “Game On” column.

I set aside Saturday — all of Saturday — to watch the NFL draft in undisturbed bliss. But when some crunkhead on the next block popped his trunk o’ bass and turned the neighborhood into a disco, I ended up having as long an afternoon as Aaron Rodgers, though I didn’t curse Ryan Leaf under my breath.

I finally dialed 3-1-1. An hour later, DJ Screw was still at it, making my dishes dance in the sink, so I called the cops again.

“They’re all out on higher-priority calls,” the dispatcher said. “You know, armed robbery, domestic disputes, stuff like that.”

For more than four hours my house shook like Kirstie Alley was doing jumping jacks on the roof, but APD, out fighting all that real crime in Austin on a Saturday afternoon, never showed.

If 9-1-1 is a joke, 3-1-1 is an HBO comedy special.

Corcoran may or may not be aware that Robert Davis Jr., aka DJ Screw (above) died in 2000.

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