12.13.12

There’s No Need For Texas To Bury Josh Hamilton On His Way Out The Door…

Posted in Baseball at 9:02 pm by

…not when there’s an Angels blogger more than up to the task.  Following today’s announcement the Los Angeles Angels — no doubt mindful of their crosstown rivals paying a boatload for Zach Greinke — have signed free agent OF Josh Hamilton (above, right) to a 5-year, $125 million deal, Rev Halofan of Halo Heaven declared, “aiming at marketing to the Crystal Meth Christians of the Inland Empire, Arte’s billboard machine will be saturating the 909 with a new ferocity.”   How’s that for rolling out the red carpet?

He is old and injury-prone.

He wears his sobriety on his sleeve as a ready-made excuse to stay infantilized.

Using his blue eyes as an excuse for a slump.

Wife holds all his money.

Needs a permanent babysitter.

Remember when he dropped the ball in the most critical game of the season? Jogging toward the dugout and did not even notice he was choking.

If a reserve utility infielder was sober, would the team celebrate with Ginger Ale in his honor?

One Response to “There’s No Need For Texas To Bury Josh Hamilton On His Way Out The Door…”

  1. Luke N. Atmaguchi says:

    Rev HaloFan is a fucking piece of shit. Anyway, the Rangers will soon be singing a new tune . . .

    “LaROCHE !!! . . . ah-rumble”

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