11.24.10

Whitlock’s Latest Achievement : Conjuring The Image Of Pat Riley In Tassles

Posted in Basketball at 3:55 pm by

Nearly everyone has an opinion about the Heat’s underwhelming start to the 2010-11 season (some folks even have reasoned analysis to offer). While ormer Heat coach/current Magic soundbyte maven Stan Van Gundy would appreciate it if Phil Jackson kept his thoughts to himself, Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock figures Pat Riley’s return to the Miami bench is a matter of if rather than when. Riles, opines Big Sexy, “is as needy as a 24-year-old stripper, addicted to the drama, the dysfunction and the lust of wealthy men willing to make it rain.”  See, all that time and money spent at gentlemen’s clubs really was research!

From the moment LeBron James announced he was moving his massive ego to South Beach, Pat Riley has sat passively and watched Bebe™s kids ” James, Wade and Bosh ”- conduct themselves in a fashion Riley knew wouldn™t create a championship environment.

Seriously, Wade, James and Bosh rising from beneath a stage, screaming, preening and dancing long before the Heat won an exhibition game? The introduction of the Big Three violated just about every core principle Riley holds sacred.

Maybe he doesn™t have what it takes to coach this team. If he had the necessary swagger, he would™ve already publicly checked James and Bosh. Surely Spoelstra knows there™s no championship upside in kissing James™ butt. Mike Brown tried that.

Sitting in the stands taking notes isn™t support. It™s preparation for a takeover. It™s a signal to James and Bosh that Riley is ready to step in whenever they get tired of getting embarrassed and want to get down to the serious business of pursuing a title.

I™m starting to think Pat Riley is in the champagne room just waiting for the Big Three to join him.

One Response to “Whitlock’s Latest Achievement : Conjuring The Image Of Pat Riley In Tassles”

  1. Brad says:

    Two things: someone needs to smash up Whitlock’s Bro Signal, and proclaiming the failure of the South Beach Experiment is the sportswriter equivalent to gaming Palin’s presidential chances.

    Oh, and Whitlock’s pieces are the only FoxSports pages that reload constantly. Annoying.

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