11.07.05

Willfully Ignorant Fop Thinks Foreigners R Funny

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 6:16 pm by

In a story related to the one prior, Etch-A-Sketch has won broadcast rights to the inner workings of Will Leitch’s brain. That Etch-A-Sketch is not in fact, a broadcast outlet, is of little consequence because there’s precious little to show anyway. Here are some more gems from Gawker Media’s resident xenophobe :

“Man U. ends Chelsea’s 40 match unbeaten streak, which probably doesn’t mean much to you unless you like warm beer.”

Translation : the thrilling world of top-flight soccer is of far less interest to this shithead’s readers than frequent updates on Busch Stadium’s demolition, a subject that the NYC media elite, if not every sports fan in the USA, must be totally obsessed with.

“England™s The Star newspaper is encouraging readers to enter a contest that allows them to booze it up with Iron Mike (Tyson). The possibilities are endless. A œMonster Mash karaoke contest? Will you guys go to pick up British girls (the only people with worse teeth than Tyson, we might add).”

I’ve picked up a couple of British girls in my time. I apologize for being crude, but their mouths compared pretty favorably to Will’s.

7 Responses to “Willfully Ignorant Fop Thinks Foreigners R Funny”

  1. John says:

    Seen this yet: http://blacktable.com/blacklist051109.htm ? Scroll down to “HAVING AN UNKNOWN ONLINE ENEMY”. Too funny.

  2. CSTB says:

    well, he’s wrong on several counts. First of all, had he slept with one of my ex-girlfriends, I’d be very sympathetic towards him (NOTE TO THOSE EX-GF’s WHO ARE STILL ALIVE – THIS IS WHAT WE IN THE TRADE CALL “A JOKE”. HA, HA, ETC.) As for being upset that Will is getting paid, well, yeah, I mean, I’m completely destitute. There’s nothing in the fridge except THOUSAND DOLLAR BILLS, MOTHERFUCKER.

    And I’ve not let the world know that he sucks on a daily basis. For instance, Will takes the weekend off, and sometimes, I do too! (from letting the world know he sucks, at least).

    And really, is it necessary that I meet Will to decide that he’s a-ok, as at least one of his friends (presumably not an ex-gf) has alleged? This isn’t about him-as-a-person. I freely admit that I don’t know the guy nor do I pretend to. I’m judging the quality of his work, writing that thus far has revealed him to have some funny hangups about foreigners, jews, blacks, lesbians and people with Down’s Syndrome. But other than that, I’m sure he’s a swell dude.

    The funny thing is, I can go two years bashing the fuck out of Phil Mushnick, Tom Coughlin, Fran Healy or Tom Sizemore, and you lot are all “hip hip hooray”. Mocking public figures is socially accceptable. Taking a swipe or two at a guy whose profession is entirely based on his mocking public figures (where’s the outpouring of sympathy for Stephen A. Smith and that sweet young Peyton Manning?) and actually holding his work up to some scrutiny, however, is clearly the work of a derenged obsessive.

    anyhow, my sincere apologies to those of you who are utterly sick of this whole thing. But it’s kinda like posting pics of the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders 3 times a day — the traffic spikes have been awesome.

    Actually, John, it did just occur to me that perhaps Will is talking about someone else who hates him. In which case, the whole thing seems very, very sad.

  3. John says:

    Maybe Will’s “others’ reports” will get back to him and he can respond in another forum that caters to passive-aggressive types.

    As for the Second Gunman theory, I have to believe you’re the drunk in the midnight choir here.

  4. CSTB says:

    nah, I think I’m onto something here. Will couldn’t possibly be refering to me, I mean, if CSTB is a blog he “sporadically enjoyed”, why the sudden omission from Deadspin’s “Best Of The Web”?

    No, I think there’s some OTHER person out there in stalker-space that’s utterly devoted to fucking with Will’s head. Maybe we can take up a collection and send him or her a 6-pack of Diet Get The Fuck Over Yourself ?

    Until such time, I thank you for the head’s up, and I thank my former neighbors in New York —- one of the 40 or 50 greatest cities in America! — for continuing to show such warmth and hospitality towards midwestern exiles who are just trying to make a name for themselves.

    As far as “not handling the email well”, I beg to differ :

    http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/index.php?p=2878

    cry like a bitch or die tryin’
    GC

  5. John says:

    The cyber-rebus response to the email was in no way inflammatory, I agree, but in the dog-eat-dog world of Sports Blogging, how did this story get lost: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41417 ?

  6. VP says:

    Interesting quotes from Mr. Bleeding Matador:

    “As for being upset that Will is getting paid, well, yeah, I mean, I’m completely destitute. There’s nothing in the fridge except THOUSAND DOLLAR BILLS, MOTHERFUCKER.” 11/9/05

    “I mean really, not that my bank balance is your business or anyone else’s, but how are you so certain that I’m loaded, and why should that make any difference in how I deal with correspondence?” 2/12/05

    Yeah, it’s kind of petty and childish to compare quotes like this, but then again, this whole lame, one-sided feud with Will Leitch is too.

  7. CSTB says:

    VP,

    the first quote is what we in the trade like to call “a joke”, if not a direct reference to quote number 2.

    But given that you find the entire rigmarole to be petty and childish, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding another quality site to visit.