05.13.05

Wise Cuts Ramos In Half, Inspects Rings

Posted in Basketball at 5:55 pm by

With the Wizards preparing for a 4-and-out exit to the Heat in their Eastern Conference semi final, the Washington Post’s Mike Wise fixates on the series’ most crucial question, how old is Peter Ramos?

The One-on-One, Big-Stiff Showdown between 7-foot-3 Wizard rookie Peter “Party John” Ramos and retired 7-7, fused-back Romanian Gheorghe Muresan had to be postponed yesterday when serious allegations about Ramos’s age arose.

Several of Ramos’s teammates do not believe he is 19 years old–as it allegedly says on his Puerto Rican birth certificate.

“I think it’s one of those Danny Almonte-Freddy Adu birth certificates,” said an anonymous Wizard, who we’ll call Jared (not his real name). “Peter John looks like he’s 35. He might be older than Gheorghe.”

Ramos (above) was recently asked his birth date, point blank.

“May 23,” said Party John, who will allegedly turn 20 in 10 days. When asked what year, the big lug hesitated before saying, “1985.”

With so much subterfuge, we decided to go to the woman who brought the little guy into the world. Maribel Fuentes, Ramos’s mother, said her son indeed turns 20 in 10 days. “His birthday is May 23, 1985,” she told a translator hired by the Post to interview her by telephone from her hometown of Caguas, P.R., at halftime.

Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald conducted the interview entirely in Spanish, which means he could be lying too.

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