12.01.05

Farnsworth Leaning Towards Yankees

Posted in Baseball at 12:31 am by

The Atlanta Journal Constitution’s Dave O’Brien reports that reliever Kyle Farnsworth has turned down the Braves’ 3 year offer in favor of becoming Mariano Rivera’s setup man in the Bronx.

Presuming this is all 4-real, imagine the thrilling posts to come from How Much Is The Farnsworth once Kyle hits NYC?

Trickortreaters started showin up bout a coupla hours ago, were gettin a pretty good stream of em. Bondos fieldin the door right now… I was OK with the first few waves which were groups of real little kids all totterin around in sheets and shit, but then we got a group of kids who were alittle bit older, like 12 or 13 I guess. One of em was dressed up as Smoltzy (little cousin of yours, Heap?) and when I answered the door he did a kinda doubletake and piped up all shrill as fuck, “Hey! You’re Kyle Farnsworth! Fuck you man, you wrecked our season!”

Little shitlickin punkass. Sent him off cryin, and after that Bondo kinda quietly but firmly took the candy bowl away and hes been answerin the door while I sit up here fumin and cursin the little spawns of Satan whatre runnin around tonight. Fuck children. But not literally, I aint Jason Johnson.

On Wednesday, the Bombers announced signing of free agent C Kelly Stinnent, 36, to a one-year deal worth $650,000.00. Short of luring Ed Hearn out of retirement, I’m not sure how Wednesday could’ve been any more exciting for the Yankees.

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