Writes David Roth,
Alright, you know how Republicans have scramblin’ token-con J.C. Watts, pass-catching anti-abortion butthead Steve Largent, and well-gelled tax-opponents like John Elway and A-Rod and (sigh) Carlos Beltran? And, like, every other pro athlete except for Fred Hoiberg and Bill Bradley?
Well, now Democrats have a strong right arm with some mild leftward leanings coming down the pike — Heath Shuler (above) is running against Charles Taylor (neither the Liberian dictator nor the Salon.com film critic) in North Carolina’s 11th Congressional District. And even weirder, it seems like he’s got a decent shot.
No news on whether Jeff George is going to challenge Denny Hastert. I’ll keep you posted.
If this Roberts guy doesn’t work out, perhaps Ryan Leaf still has a shot at the Supreme Court?
The only way we liberals can enjoy our sporting heroes is through a thick, distorting lens of denial. Mrs. Weasel had a coniption when she saw the picture of her heartthrob Jason Varitek beaming while shaking hands with Dick Cheney while she was flicking through the Red Sox yearbook. We discussed how he was a millionaire pro-athlete who lived in Georgia and wears mock turtle necks, and although we have no empiral evidence he is therefore likely to favor the GOP. All we can do is pretend we never saw the photo. The only consolation we could take is that Manny Ramirez is so petulant and confused be could only be a Democrat.
I know what you’re saying, but while Republicans get most athletes — most of them unsurprising, anyway: anyone who’s shocked that Greg Ostertag maxed out to Bush or that Craig Biggio doesn’t give a fuck about working families has never really looked at those guys — Democrats do get some interesting athletes. I did some research on this before the ’04 election (McSweeneys turned down my list because it “wasn’t comic,” although in retrospect it has a dark humor to it) and there are plenty of Democrat-loving athletes. Charles Barkley, Travis Best, Jalen Rose and Fred Hoiberg were all into John Edwards in a major way, and Bernard Hopkins and John Madden (yeah, I know) were both seriously supportive of Kerry. There’s even a photo of Kerry and Hopkins together that pretty well equals one thousand words on both of them.
Also, Evan Eschmeyer is a Deaniac. For whatever that’s worth.
Please understand, I wasn’t working at a job when I made this list.